


Desideratum

by NewFriendJen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Minor Violence, Multi, Parental Death, Polyamory, Stalking, assualt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26009899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewFriendJen/pseuds/NewFriendJen
Summary: Kyotani YN is a second year at AobaJohsai, and the volleyball club manager. She is close friends with the Seijoh Four, although their relationship pushes the boundaries of friendship, border-lining on something more.
Relationships: Hanamaki/Reader, Iwaizumi/Reader, Matsukawa/Reader, Oikawa/Iwaizumi/Matsukawa/Hanamaki/Reader, Oikawa/reader, Seijoh Four/Reader
Comments: 20
Kudos: 141





	1. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr.  
> Warnings: Mentions of Assault.

_Blink._ White fluorescent lights blind you. _Blink._ White walls, wooden cabinets, nothing familiar. _Blink._ Three middle school boys, who are they? _Blink_. An I.V. leading into your hand. _Blink._

You look around slowly, taking in your surroundings. It looks like you are in the hospital. You struggle to remember what led you here- oh. It was **him**. He was waiting for you when you left the school. He attacked you. You don’t remember anything solid after that. “We grabbed your bag, your phone has buzzed a few times. Would you like me to find it for you?” One of the three kids in your room is talking to you. He has tall, black, spiked hair. The two boys behind him are silent. They look nervous, but also like they don’t quite want to be there. They both have black hair, and you notice that they are all wearing the blue and white uniforms of Kitagawa Daiichi, a local middle school. You finally nod at the first boy, he opens your bag and digs around until he finds your phone. You take it, sitting it on your lap.

“How did I get here?” Your voice is raspy, your throat sore as you strain to talk. One of the other boys answers disinterestedly “We saw that guy attacking you. We chased him away but you were unconscious so we called an ambulance. We brought your bag and made sure you were okay so that Kindaichi wouldn’t be up all night crying about it.” The first of the boys, the one with the tall hair, blushed at his friend’s statement. “Thank you” you whisper, smiling at the younger boy.

Before the conversation can continue any further a nurse enters. “Ah, you’re awake. I’ll get the doctor.” The three boys shuffle awkwardly, but are quickly ushered out of the room when the nurse returns with a doctor. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “Sore. My throat is really sore. And my side.” He nods expectantly. “Well, you have a broken rib so your side will hurt for a few weeks until it is able to heal properly. Your throat is severely bruised, that should get better in a few days. You have a wound on your forehead that we had to stitch, try not to get it wet. You have some more bruises, but nothing else of pressing concern.” He flipped through a chart as he spoke, handing it back to the nurse before turning to speak to you. “There are two police officers here to speak with you. They will be in next. We called your parents, they signed off on having a friend from school sign you out. When they arrive you should be able to leave.”

He left, the nurse following behind him. A few minutes later the door opened again, and two men stepped in. “Hello. My name is Detective Aomine Isamu, and this is my partner Mikoshiba Masaru.” You nodded, listening as they spoke and answering questions when you could. “Since those boys called us as quickly as they did we were able to apprehend your attacker fairly quickly. We have an emergency protection order placed on you, so even if he were to be released he won’t be able to come near you again without facing heavy consequences.” You let out a shaky breath, thanking the officers for their help.

After they leave, your phone starts vibrating. You flip the screen over, checking the screen through watery eyes. You accept the call. “Hey ‘Tarou” you say shakily. “Jesus you shoulda called when you fucking woke up.” You huff into the phone, frowning. “Calm down Kentarou, I couldn’t even check my phone until now. The doctor came in then the cops came in right after. I’m sorry that I scared you.” You stifle a chuckle at the low growl your brother lets out on the other end of the line. “‘M all the way in fucking Tokyo! You’re back home alone and that worthless asshole dared to lay a hand on you! When I get back I’ll kill him!” You know you need to reign in his anger before it gets out of hand and he hurts himself. “He got arrested so don’t stress about it. I’m okay. Sore as hell, but I’ll survive. A little beating isn’t going to break a Kyotani, that’s what you always told me right?” You hear his groan on the other end of the line. “Never meant for you, only me.” You sigh, there really wasn’t any point in trying to argue with him- he was relentless and it would only make him angrier.

“Who is dad sending to pick me up?” you ask, fingers pulling at a loose thread on the hospital blanket thrown over you. “I called in a favor, so don’t worry about it. It’s someone you trust.” You hum in response. “Are y’okay? He didn’t do anything nasty to you did he?” It’s barely a whisper breathed out of the others lips, but you feel the disgust in the words clearly. “Nah, some middle school kids interrupted before he could do more than beat me up a little.” You hear a grunt in response, the conversation dwindling. Kentarou had never been a big conversationalist. “I’ll text you when I get home, ‘kay?” He huffs out an okay before hanging up.

You lay in the bed, staring at the ceiling for a bit before you hear the door open. Your eyes fall to the doorway, widening with shock as you watch four familiar faces walk into the room. “Fucking hell YN, what the fuck happened to you?” Hanamaki sputters out as soon as he sees you. A mop of perfectly styled brown hair sits on the edge of the bed beside you, his fingers ghosting the wound on your forehead. “Are you okay YN-chan?” he asks. You offer him a small smile, catching his hand in yours. “Better now Trashykawa” you whisper. Oikawa frowns at you, but his reply is interrupted by your nurse walking in. “Which of you is Iwaizumi Hajime?” she asks. Iwaizumi responds, following her out of the room. “I guess ‘Tarou called you guys?” Oikawa nods, his thumb rubbing across the back of your hand. You feel eyes boring into you, as you glance up to Hanamaki and Matsukawa. “Hey strawberry boy, beefcake.” They shake their heads at your awful nicknames for them. Makki crouches beside the bed, his finger on your chin as he examines your neck. “Gonna tell us what happened?”

You swallow harshly. You want to tell them, but it’s a big story and you are exhausted. You’re saved from responding when the three middle school boys walk back into your room. “Ew, what is Tobio-chan doing here?” Oikawa whines, glancing at you. You smack his arm, glaring at him. “Be nice asshole. They saved my life tonight.” All three of your friends’ eyes widened at your statement. Kindaichi awkwardly shuffles to the other side of the bed, offering you a bag. “U-uh we t-thought you might be h-hungry and hospital f-food is normally really g-gross so we grabbed you d-dinner.” His cheeks are bright red as he stumbles over his words. You offer him a bright smile, accepting the bag. “Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that! I already owe you guys!” The other two scoff. “You don’t owe us anything” the taller of the two says. “W-we were j-just worried! You’ve b-been through a lot t-tonight!” Kindaichi stammers. “I appreciate it, really” you say softly. “It’s late, you guys should head home. I’m sure your parents are worried about you! I’ll be fine with my friends here now. Go get some sleep.” You usher the three younger kids out, promising them that you will be fine. They say short goodbyes before they head out.

Iwaizumi walks back in the room, holding papers. “The nurse will be in to remove your I.V. After that we can leave.” You nod, opening the bag Kindaichi had handed you. You look inside to find a convenience store boxed onigiri, some random types of candy, and a boxed milk. You laugh showing the contents to Oikawa. “Kids.” He agrees, eyeballing one of the candies. “Go for it” you whisper. He takes it out of the bag, sliding off the bed when the nurse walks in. The nurse removes your I.V, placing a bandage where it was. “Okay, we have some cream to help with the bruising, some pain relievers for your ribs, and sleeping pills. You don’t have to take them if you would prefer not to, but you’ve been through a lot and you might need them.” You thank the nurse, accepting the bag she hands you. You climb out of the bed, reaching for your bag. Matsukawa grabs it out of the chair slinging it over his shoulder. “Thanks Mattsun” you whisper as you grab your jacket. You hold it up, ready to shrug it on when you notice the blood and tears in the fabric. It is destroyed. You close your eyes, struggling to hold back the stress of the evening. You sigh, tossing the jacket in the trash and walk out the door.

You make it to the end of the hallway before you feel something wrap around your shoulders. Looking back you see Hanamaki placing his jacket around you. “C’mon. We drove Iwaizumi’s mom’s car” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and guiding you to the parking lot. You crawled into the backseat of the car with Makki and Oikawa piling in on either side of you. It was dark out by the time you left the hospital, and as you sat in the backseat you felt yourself begin to panic. You knew the darkness would overwhelm you, forcing your mind to places you didn’t want your thoughts wandering, so you leaned onto Makki’s shoulder. His warmth pressed against your side grounded you enough to push aside the panic, but you still felt overwhelmed. You were surprised when you felt Oikawa’s fingers thread with your own, watching as he pulled your hand up to place a gentle kiss to the back of it. His chocolate eyes are studying you. He knew you were not okay, he was as observant as ever, and he was reassuring you with his physical presence instead of his words. You offered him a small smile as you squeezed his hand lightly. Makki shifted beneath your weight, his hand finding its way to your thigh. His thumb drawing soft patterns over the exposed skin above your knee. You let out an appreciative hum as you felt your body slowly calming down.


	2. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr.  
> Warnings: Mentions of assault, alcoholism

The ride to your mother’s house was quiet. You walked sleepily inside, leaving the door open for your friends to follow. Your mother worked a swing shift, and was on night shift this week. She wouldn’t be home until the morning. You padded to your room, catching your reflection in the mirror and groaning. Your hair was falling out of its ponytail, the front was still with dried blood from your head wound. You were a miss. Your neck sported a deep purple bruise in the shape of a large handprint. You shivered, running your fingers over the bruise. The sound of running water filtered into the room, distracting you from the dark thoughts threatening to overwhelm you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Matsukawa and Hanamaki sprawl across your bed. Oikawa walked in a second later, offering you a soft smile. “I ran you a warm bath YN-chan. I’ll help you wash your hair, okay?” You nod, turning to your closet. You reach up for the duffel bag shoved in the top of your closet, gasping when the movement sent shooting pain through your side. A warm body moved beside you, grabbing the bag and handing it to you. “Just ask for help dumbass, we’re here for a reason” Iwaizumi scolded you. You looked at him through watery eyes, sitting the bag on your dresser and pulling a large t-shirt out of it.

The bathroom was warm, the heat from the water forming a nice fog on the mirror. You unzipped your skirt letting it fall to the floor. You held your breath as you pulled your shirt over your head, the same pain sparking in your ribs. Oikawa entered the bathroom behind you, letting the door close behind him. He pulled a stool out, grabbing your waist and helping guide you onto it. Under different circumstances you would have found this scene romantic. The warm water from the rag running over your scalp. The gentleness of the setter’s fingers as he lathered your hair. The subtle floral notes of the shampoo he had helped you pick out during one of your many shopping trips together. You let out an appreciative hum relaxing into the feeling as he rinsed your hair. He moved up front of you, carding his long fingers through your hair. “There,” he said smiling down at you, “all nice and clean.” You offered him a relaxed smile in return, letting him help you down from the stool. His fingers traced over the large bruise on your side, careful not to apply any pressure to your broken ribs. His chocolate eyes were a swirling mixture of sad and angry when he looked back to you. “Do you need help getting in? I can sit in here with you if you want me to.”

You had spent a lot of time toeing the line that borders between friendship and something more with all four of the boys in your house. You had never kissed any of them, nor have you had any heated, sexualized moments with them. However, you have had intimate moments with all of them, so you weren’t shy when it came to physical contact with your friends. After everything you had experienced today you needed that moment- that intimacy that you only felt comfortable asking your four closest friends for. You felt absolutely no doubt or hesitancy when you responded to Oikawa’s question. “Would you be comfortable joining me?” He was wide-eyed at your response, but he knew that there was no ulterior motive behind the request. “If you insist princess” he replied, his sing-songy voice resonating in the small bathroom. You snorted at his choice of nickname as he undressed. You removed your remaining clothes before stepping into the warm water. You sank into the water, breathing in the soft scent of lavender that emanated around you. When Oikawa was ready, you slid forwards making room for him to slide in behind you. You leaned back, your head resting against his shoulder as his arms wrapped loosely around your waist. With his strong heartbeat thumping against your back and the steady pattern of his breathing you felt the tension in your muscles start to fade allowing you to relax against him more.

You laid there quietly for several minutes. “You know you are going to have to tell us what happened eventually, right?” His chin rested on your shoulder as he spoke, his voice soft. “Mmmm, I know. I’ll explain when we are all in the room. I didn’t say anything earlier because I felt drained. And tense. Now I am nice and relaxed, and while I admit that I am thoroughly exhausted, I know you are all worried. I won’t go to sleep without explaining. Promise.” You felt the rumble of his laugh through his chest. “I guess we should probably get out then. You are barely keeping your eyes open YN-chan!” You laugh with him, knowing you could easily just fall asleep pressed against him in the bathtub. “I would have woken up when the water got too cold” you said as you leaned forwards. He rubbed his hands along the muscles on your back before he stood, exiting the tub and drying himself off. He pulled his boxers back on before turning to help you out of the water. You let him dry you off, saving what little energy you have for staying awake long enough to talk to your friends. You pulled on the shirt you had brought in, pushing the fabric against your nose and inhaling. Oikawa gave you a weird look as he gathered his clothes. “It’s Kentarou’s shirt. The smell makes me feel safe.” you explain briefly before you brush your teeth. “I think I have a pair of his shorts in there too if you want them” you offer. He frowns, thinking for a second before accepting your offer.

The two of you walk back to your bedroom, finding Makki and Mattsun sitting on your bed, flipping through movies trying to decide what to watch. Iwaizumi is sitting at your desk. You grab the shorts and hand them to Oikawa, noticing the looks the other three are giving him. “Sit,” Iwaizumi says, directing you to the edge of your bed. You listen, settling down beside Makki’s knees. You are handed a glass of water and some medicine, which you take without protest. Iwaizumi scoots your desk chair over, coating his fingers in the cream the doctor had given you. You look up letting him rub it into the bruise on your neck. When he is satisfied with that he nudges the hem of your shirt. You turn to the side, lifting your shirt to reveal the bruise on your ribs. Iwaizumi sucks in a breath, anger flashing across his face as he tenses. He lets the breath out, gently rubbing the cream into the bruise. You let out a hiss when his fingers rub over the broken part of your ribs.His hand lingers on your waist for a few seconds before he pulls away. “What happened YN?” Iwaizumi asks, his question drawing the other three boys’ attention to you.

You shuffle further up onto the bed, laying your cheek against Makki’s chest, your legs intertwined with his. You close your eyes, focusing. They were your best friends, your boys. You knew you had to tell them the whole story, but it was difficult. Your voice was unsteady as you spoke. “After my parents got divorced my mom’s taste in men went significantly downhill. Most of the guys she has dates are alcoholics with violent tendencies. I was always nervous that one of them would stumble into the house, drunk and angry that she wasn’t here, so I had my brother sneak out of our dads and sleep here with me on the nights my mom worked overnight. Nothing ever happened, but I just wasn’t comfortable. We’ve been doing that for the past year-ish.” You paused, swallowing around the lump forming in your throat. “The last guy she dated was different. An alcoholic, yes. Aggressive, yes. But he had a quality none of her other boyfriends had- wandering eyes. He tried to have wandering hands a few times, but I found ways to evade it. My mom brushed it off as me being paranoid around guys that weren’t my dad. They dated for a few months, and I was uncomfortable the whole time. I reversed roles with Kentarou, sneaking into my dad’s house to stay with him when my mom was on night shift.”

You felt Makki’s fingers rubbing circles in the muscles on your back, helping you to stay calm. “She ended up breaking up with him, and the next night shift she was on. I woke up to him drunk and pounding on the front door. It had been a few weeks so I was home alone, and I panicked. Had barely made it out of the back door when he kicked in the front door. I called the cops, and they picked him up. They said he was probably just looking for my mom. I had my brother stay over every night for the rest of that week.” You drew in a shaky breath before continuing. “Today I stayed after to finish a few things for the club. When I left, he was waiting for me. I wasn’t expecting him so I didn’t have my phone out. I tried to run, but he was faster. I hit my head when he tackled me. I remember him choking me and I know he was talking but I blacked out. Woke up at the hospital with those three boys from earlier.”

“Please tell me this dude was arrested, because if not I will kill him” Mattsun growled from behind you. You nodded sleepily, the exhaustion from the day sweeping in with full force. “He was arrested. Got a protection order so he isn’t allowed anywhere near me. Although ‘Tarou might just kill him when he sees him anyways.” You mumble, your words trailing off as the sleeping pill you had taken kicked in. You felt Makki shift so that you were laying on the bed between him and Mattsun, your back pressed against Mattsun’s chest. The four boys heard you mumble incoherently before sleep claimed you fully.


	3. Verge of Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr.  
> Warnings: Parental Death, Assault, Violence, Mentions of Blood, anxiety, trauma, portrayals of sex (not explicit)

_Thud._ You groan as you roll over onto your back, pain shooting through your side as you stretch out. “Damn” you breath out as you sit up. Your bed is empty and cold. Grabbing your phone you check the time- 10 a.m. ‘The boys are probably at practice’ you think. _Thud, thud, thud, thud._ The same sound again, this time repeating from the hallway. “You’ve got to be kidding me” you growl as you jump out of bed, throwing your bedroom door open. You quickly throw a hand over your eyes, trying to erase the sight of your mother having sex with some random drunk from your memory.

 _Smash._ You drop your hand, watching as the glass from the vase in the drunk guys hand cuts your mother’s cheek open. You jump, grabbing the baseball bat from your closet before rushing into the hallway. Your mother’s eyes are hazy, blood running down her face onto her shirt. You swing the bat at the back of the man’s leg. “What the fuck!” he yells as he drops to his knee. “Get the fuck out of our house” you growl, leveling the bat at his face. “Fucking bitch with her psychotic daughter” he grumbles as he fixes his clothes and leaves, door slamming shut behind him.

You crouch, fingers pulling the pieces of broken glass from your mother’s hair. Slap. You feel the harsh sting across your cheek as your head is jerked to the side. You turn back to your mother, her eyes wide with anger as she glares at you. “Who gave you the right to decide who is allowed in my house?” she screams. You feel a fiery anger surging within you. “You’re joking right? He literally smashed a vase on your head and I’m the one in the wrong in this situation?” you reply incredulously. Your mother pushes to her feet, scowling down at your still crouched figure. “You wouldn’t understand.” You scoff, shooting upright. “You’re right I don’t understand. You keep dating these alcoholics who like to beat you up. One of them actually tried to kill me last night, but you seem to have conveniently forgotten that fact.” You spit the words at her, expecting her fact to reflect your hurt. Her eyes wander to your neck before they find your face again. The look on her face is cold and empty, and you feel like your heart stops. “You should have let him kill you..

Your stomach is churning. You don’t realize you are moving until you are back in your bedroom, bags open on your bed with clothes and personal items shoved in them. You grab your phone charger shoving it in your school bag before throwing it over your shoulder. You gather the rest of the bags, wincing in pain as you pick them up. You ignore the pain in your side as you slip your shoes on and walk out the door. You are several blocks away before your mind catches up with everything that happened. You feel the sting of tears forming at the corner of your eyes as you crouch on the sidewalk, your bags dropped before you. You can’t think straight, and you need something to ground you, so you pull your phone out dialing your only emergency contact.

“What?” answers the gruff voice on the other line. “Tarou” you cry into the phone, the dam holding your tears back breaking. You’re sobbing into the phone, head on your knees. You hear your brother frantically questioning you on the other line, but you can’t collect yourself enough to form a response. “YN” you hear after some shuffling. The stern, coarse voice calming you with its familiarity. You sniffle, managing to stop your sobs. “She said I should have let him kill me” you choke out around the lump in your throat. “Shhh,” he coos, “just try to calm down. Deep breath in, deep breath out.” You follow his directions, focusing on his steady voice. “Good, now where are you?” he finally says, hearing your steady breathing. “Uhm,” you pause looking around, “I’m by the school.” You hear shuffling before he responds. “Maiko-chan is at the house, go there. I’ll let her know you are coming.” You nod, pushing yourself to your feet.

You arrived at your father’s house fifteen minutes later. You were standing before the door, hesitant to knock. Maiko is your father’s girlfriend. The two of you had never managed to get along for very long, and it put a strain on your relationship as a family. You rapped your knuckles on the door, holding your breath as it opened a moment later. Maiko’s scolding look quickly faded to wide-eyed concern as she backed away from the door. “Come on” she whispered, turning to walk back into the house. You followed, slipping your shoes off and closing the door behind you. She waddled her way to the kitchen, her pregnant belly prominent in her casual clothes. You stood awkwardly in the kitchen, unsure of what your father had told her. She put on a pot of tea before turning back to you. “Are you okay?” she finally asked. You felt the lump return to your throat. This woman whom you had fought with regularly and who had no blood connection to you was showing more concern for you than your own mother. Your limbs sagged as the familiar warmth of tears fell down your cheeks. Maiko pulled you into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cried. She hummed a familiar tune, stroking your hair as you calmed back down. You pulled away, sitting at the table nearby as she finished preparing the tea.

“What did my dad tell you?” you ask, your voice cracking under the strain of crying so much over the past day. Maiko answers, taking the seat opposite you and stretching her feet up onto a third chair. You recount the assault you experienced the night before, then you struggled through voicing the events of your morning. She is quiet, letting you finish speaking before she says anything. “I’m not going to say anything about what happened to you last night, because honestly I don’t know what to say.” She pauses taking a drink of her tea. “Your mother was angry, unjustly so, but I doubt she meant what she said YN-kun. Give her some space and a little time to cool her head. I’m sure she’ll call you tonight and apologize.” You nod, listening to her level headed response. Your phone vibrates harshly against the table. You look at it, noting that a few hours had somehow passed already, before you accepted the call. “Hi Iwaizumi.” “Oh, thank god. Where the fuck are you YN?” your friend shouts into the phone. You frown at the volume of his voice. “I’m at my dad’s house. I got into an argument with my mom and left. Why?” You hear a nervous but relieved sigh escape his lips. “We stopped by after practice to check on you. YN your house is on fire.” “You’re fucking joking right?” You hear Maiko’s disapproving ‘ahem’ at your choice of language. You pull the phone away from your ear, looking at her. “Can you please give me a ride to my mother’s house? I’m pretty sure she set it on fire.” Maiko splutters, choking on her tea, before nodding and standing.

You arrive on the street your mother lives on to find the road blocked. You are out of the car before Maiko has time to pull to a full stop. “YN!” she calls after you. You ignore her, rushing towards the house. A fireman stops you. “Sorry miss, you can’t go this way.” “That’s my house. I live there. With my mother, she was inside when I left a few hours ago-” he stops your ramble. The house is destroyed. Most of the left side crumbled away. Your eyes fall on the fireman’s face and you know, before the words even leave his mouth. You see his lips moving, but you can’t hear him. Your chest feels like it is caught in a grip that keeps tightening. You recognize shouts of your name but you can’t place them. Your eyes are glued to the house but you can’t see it. You can’t see or hear anything. You are ready to collapse when you feel a hand on your shoulder. Turning towards the hand your eyes focus on the strawberry hair above you, slowly moving down to meet Hanamaki’s worried gaze. You don’t remember moving, but somehow find yourself clinging to his chest. His arms are warm as they wrap around you. You feel the vibration of his chest as he speaks, the soft puffs of air as he whispers in your ear, but you can’t hear his words. You aren’t sure how long you had been standing there. “YN” the strength of Maiko’s voice spills across your skin like ice water. The world is crashing around you again. The bustling sounds of the firefighters, the smoke clinging to the air, the whispered concerns of your friends. You pull back, looking away from Makki’s chest to where your father’s girlfriend was watching you. “She’s dead Maiko” is all you can manage to say.


	4. Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr.  
> Warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, breakdown

Everything passed by in a blur. Your life was falling apart around you, yet you felt nothing.

You attended your mother’s funeral, blankly staring into the crowd, a murmur of voices surrounding you. The only grounding image was Oikawa’s callused fingers intertwined with yours.

You saved what you could of your belongings from the house, but most of everything you had was gone. Your soot covered clothes, the charred edges of your dresser, the overwhelming smell of smoke- all blending together as a muddled memory. The rooting sound of Iwaizumi’s voice as he talked you through gathering your stuff.

You moved into your dad’s house, taking up temporary residence in the nursery. The settling feeling of laughter at some joke Makki made about your ‘new crib’.

You went back to school a week after everything. You felt the pierce of eyes on you everywhere you went, only alleviated by the warmth of Mattsun’s arm as it draped across your shoulders after every class ended.

You fell back into the familiar pattern of waking up, going to school, managing the club, studying, and sleeping. Weeks flew by, then months, and before you knew what had happened it was finals week. Everything seemed to happen in flashes. The third years were graduating. Oikawa was appointed the new Captain with Iwaizumi as Vice Captain. Hanamaki’s 17th birthday and the sweet taste of the cupcakes his mom had baked for him.

You should have broken down, should have felt something, but you were numb.

You finally broke down the day Maiko went into labor. The stress of dealing with a pregnant woman in pain pushing you to anger. You half-expected Maiko to lash back at you, but she just nodded, a mutter “finally” leaving her breath before a contraction distracted her. A few hours of sitting in the hospital, impatiently pacing the room, arguing with your brother, and your father was walking out pride painting his face. “Ready to meet your baby brother?” he asked. You nodded, following him to the room where Maiko sat holding the baby. “Would you like to hold him YN?” You were apprehensive, but looking at those tiny hands and tiny eyes had you nodding. You held him gently, eyes never leaving his face. You felt warmth on your cheeks, and looking up you realized you were crying. You passed the baby back to Maiko before walking into the hallway. You finally broke down, back slumped against the wall. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, tears flooding your eyes and blurring your vision. You blindly choose a contact- it wouldn’t matter which of them you called.

The line rang for a minute. “Wife.” Matsukawa’s deep voice answers. “Issei” you choke out, sobbing into your hand as you try to stifle the sound. “What’s wrong? Where are you?” “Hospital. Maiko had the baby.” you reply between sobs. “I’ll be there soon bunny, just wait for me yeah?” You nod, letting your phone fall to the floor beside you as you hear him hang up. You don’t know how long you were sitting there before you smelled the familiar scent of Matsukawa’s cologne. He crouched down in front of you, grabbing your chin and pulling you up to meet his eyes. Your eyes are red and puffy and you are still crying softly. He pulls you to him, sitting on the floor beside you and wrapping his arms around your waist. His fingertips massage the muscles along your lower back soothingly.

“She’s really gone” you finally whisper feeling the weight of Mattsun’s head leaning onto yours. He hums, the sound rumbling against you. “I feel so alone. My dad has always had Maiko, now they have the new baby. They even have ‘Tarou. I was never a piece of their puzzle. I have no one.” Matsukawa’s arms tighten their grip around you, pulling you up to sit on his lap, your eyes level with his. Both of his palms lay flat on the sides of your face. “You have me. You have Makki. You have Iwaizumi. You even have Oikawa, although I don’t know whether that is a good thing or bad. We all love you. We are all here for you whenever you need us. You will never be alone on our watch bunny.” His lips press against your forehead before he stands up, pulling you up with him. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” You let him lead you away from the hospital, your hand clasped in his.

A short while later you were pressed against Matsukawa’s side while he sprawled across Hanamaki’s bed. He and Makki were playing video games as you lingered on the edge of sleep. Your eyes were heavy, eyelids fluttering shut. You felt the bed shift with the addition of weight in front of you before you felt fingers running through your hair. You stirred a little eyes struggling to open, when the smell of warm vanilla flooded your senses, relaxing you. “Tooru” you breathed, hearing his soft voice chuckle in response. “Your eyes aren’t even open, how did you know?” You hum, resting your head against his side. “Smell like vanilla” you mumble, letting the soft strokes of his fingers through your hair lull you back asleep.


	5. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

Life with a newborn in the house was chaotic. You spent most of your nights crashed on the couch or sprawled across your brother’s bed. You were stuck in the same pattern you had been following since your mother’s death half a year ago. You needed a change.

As you lay across Kentarou’s bed, listening to him berate some poor kid he was playing a video with, an idea came to mind. Hearing the headset slam to the ground, you peeked over at your brother. He was fuming, as usual, and you couldn’t suppress a giggle. “Shut up” he growled at you, flopping down on the bed beside you. You let him sulk in silence for a few minutes before you started talking. “Hey ‘Tarou?” He grunted in response, so you continued. “I think I am going to move out.” He rose to one elbow, glaring across the space between you. “The fuck are you going on about? Move out? And go where?” You shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. “I’ll find a cheap but decent apartment somewhere. I have enough money saved back for it.”

“You really think Dad will let you just move out on your own after everything that’s happened?” You frown, knowing that he had a point but trying to find a way to circumvent the issue. “I’m turning 18 in a few weeks, there really isn’t much he can do to stop me. I’ll be okay on my own. I’ll be on my own when I go to college anyways.” “I still don’t like it, and Dad won’t either.”

“I guess we’ll find out when I tell him tomorrow,” you say as you turn, curling up on your side to fall asleep.

At dinner the next evening you decide to broach the subject. “I want to move out,” you say bluntly. Your father scowls across the table at you, bringing a hand to rub at his temple. Maiko looks just as displeased, while Kentarou has a look that reads ‘I told you so’ as clear as day. “I know that you are stubborn enough to find a way to make this happen regardless of how many times I disagree. So I will agree- if you also agree to my stipulations.” Your jaw is slack at your father’s statement. You honestly had expected to have to argue your point for a few weeks at the minimum. “What stipulations?” you manage to ask.

“If you skip school or your grades slip you will move back in here without argument.” You nod in agreement. It was your third year, you really couldn’t afford to slack off regardless of where you were living. “I will provide you with a few options that I have deemed safe for where you can live, you must choose among the apartments I give you.” You nod again. “I planned on asking for your help with finding an apartment anyways. You know the area better.” “Good. Finally, you will work two shifts at your Aunt’s shop each week. She will schedule around your school and club activities.” You groan, hand combing through your hair. “I will agree to getting a job but does it have to be Aunt Akira’s shop? I don’t know if I can handle listening to her talking about her boyfriend for hours on end two days a week.” Your father’s stern look answered your question. “Fine, I agree to all of your stipulations.”

Three weeks later your father handed you several papers with apartments detailed on each. “Set up times to go look at them, and notify me of your decision.” You set up the appointments in succession for the following Sunday. Pulling out your phone you sent a quick text to your group chat with the boys.

Y: ‘Anyone free Sunday?’

Mattsun: ‘Makki and I have his cousin’s birthday party.’

Oikawa: ‘I have family things, but you are always welcome to join me!’

You tossed your phone onto the bed. You didn’t want to go alone, and you doubted Kentarou would be available. You sulked for a few minutes, finally deciding to see if Kindaichi and Kunimi would go with you. As you reached for your phone it rang.

“Hello?” you answer. “I’m free on Sunday, did you want to hang out?” Iwaizumi’s gruff voice asked through the line. You smile, grateful that he actually checks the group chat even if he doesn’t respond there often. “Actually I am going to look at a few apartments. I was hoping one of you guys would join me so that I don’t have to go alone.”

You can hear him frowning through the phone. “Why are you looking at apartments?” “I’m moving out of my dad’s house. It’s too cramped here, and I need a solid change of pace. So I’m getting my own place.” You reply as you shuffle up to lay your head against the pillows. Iwaizumi’s response sounds skeptical. “And your dad actually agreed to that?”

“Surprising I know. He had rules of course. He got to pick the options I can choose from. I have to keep my grades up. And I have to work two days a week at my Aunt’s shop.” “Oh, I bet that last one made you really happy,” he replied, sarcasm dripping from his words. You sigh,thinking about how annoying those two days will be. “Not really, but if that’s what it takes to get out of here I will suffer through it.” Iwaizumi just hums in response.

“So since you’re free Sunday will you go with me?” you ask.You hear him let out a low chuckle. “The answer should be obvious dumbass.” You frown, contorting your voice to mimic Oikawa’s as you reply. “So mean Iwa-channnn!” *giggling* You barely get the words out before you are giggling. “Gross, I changed my mind, you can go by yourself.” You can tell by his tone that he isn’t actually annoyed with you. You smile, thinking about your time schedule for Sunday. “The first viewing is at 1, so we can grab lunch first. Meet at Z Cafe at say 11:30?” “Sure,” Iwaizumi replies. “Now get some sleep. We can talk more tomorrow.” You pull the blanket up over your body, your face buried in the pillow. “Night Iwa,” you say, your voice muffled. He still manages to catch your words, issuing a response before hanging up. “Goodnight YN.”

Sunday you met Iwaizumi at the cafe at 11:30. He insisted on buying your lunch. “You’re about to be paying rent, you need to save your money dumbass.” You protest a little, but eventually give in knowing that he wouldn’t let you pay regardless. You visit all four apartments throughout the day, listening to Iwaizumi’s small comments about the thing she notices in each. After leaving the last one, he decides he is going to walk you home. You’re walking side by side, your hand brushing against his lightly. You slip your hand in his intertwining your fingers together as you lean against his shoulder. “Thank you for going with me today Iwa. I really didn’t want to go by myself.” He squeezes your hand lightly, his nonverbal response to your thanks. “We’ll help you move whenever you’re ready. Just let us know which one you decide on.” You pull him in for a hug before you head inside, melting against him as his large arms wrapped around your waist.

“This one,” you say as you slide the page from the apartment you were choosing across the desk to your father. He glances at it for a second before returning to his paperwork. “I’ll call and settle the details tomorrow then. Just remember the rules, YN. Don’t make me regret trusting you on this.” You nod, moving around the desk to hug his back.

“Thank you.”


	6. Recognition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

It was mid May when you moved into your apartment. Your dad had helped you with ordering furniture, and all that was left was to take your few boxes stacked neatly in Kentarou’s bedroom. Your father and brother helped you load the boxes into Maiko’s car while she and the baby waited inside. Your father had to go to work, so he wasn’t able to go to the apartment with you. Kentarou had skipped practice to help you set up your furniture that morning.

As Maiko pulled up to the curb outside of your new home, your jaw fell as you stared out the window. Standing on the sidewalk was the entire Aoba Johsai Volleyball team. You climbed out of the car, eyes watery as you approached them. “I told you we would help you” Iwaizumi says as he passed by you, heading to the back of Maiko’s car. The rest of the team follows, leaving you to stand with Oikawa. Kindaichi approaches you, carrying something. “My mom made you some cupcakes as a congratulations” he mumbles, his face turning bright pink. You ruffle his hair, thanking him before leading the group up to your apartment. Maiko parks her car in the side lot after all of your boxes are removed from the back.

The apartment is a little crowded with the whole team there. You share the cupcakes from Kindaichi’s mom while you unpack what you can. Maiko has the baby with her so she sits on the couch with him, talking casually with some of the team members. You’re placing books on the shelf Kentarou had built for you, Iwaizumi crouched beside you passing you the books from the box. “What can I help with?” You hear Maiko ask, turning to see her standing beside you. Your face scrunches as you notice she isn’t holding the baby. Your eyes wander the room, settling on the floor in front of your couch where Oikawa is making faces at your brother. You place a hand over your mouth, attempting to cover the wide smile stretching across your face. Oikawa’s eyes flick up, noticing you watching him, and sends you a wink. “You left him in charge of the baby? You’re brave.” Iwaizumi’s gruff voice sounded from beside you, earning a nasally chuckle from the older woman. “He seems to be doing great. Hiroshi really likes his voice.” You feel the all too familiar fluttering of butterflies in your stomach as you watch the setter interacting with your brother. You shake your head lightly, focusing back on your books and speaking with Maiko about what needs done.

The team slowly trickles out, having other plans or needing to get home to their families. Maiko leaves as well, needing to get your brother home for a nap. All of your belongings are unpacked, the boxes taken out to be recycled, and most of it is put away. You’re exhausted and decide to give up for the day. You walk to the living room, ready to collapse on the couch, when your stomach growls. Frowning you realize the cupcake from Kindaichi’s mom is the only food you’ve eaten that day. “Are you guys hungry?” You hear shuffling and grunts as your boys make their way to the living room, plopping down on your couch. You feel the weight of an arm on your shoulder as Iwaizumi answers your question. “YN, we’re growing boys- we’re always hungry.” You shake off his arm, jabbing him in the side. “Growing outwards not upwards then?”

“You’re in for it now YN” you hear Mattsun call from the couch as you run away from the scowling Ace. You dive onto the couch, burying yourself between Mattsun and Oikawa, arms thrown around the Setter’s neck. “Save me Tooru!” you squeal as Iwaizumi catches your waist pulling you to the floor. “I love you YN-chan, but I value my life,” Oikawa replies dramatically. You’re squirming on the floor as Iwaizumi tickles you, unable to escape with him straddling your thighs. He finally relents, letting you catch your breath. When he starts moving you think he is going to stand up, but he lays down on top of you, his full body weight crushing against you and nearly knocking the breath out of you.”Iwa” you whine, trying and failing to push at his shoulders. He pushes up to his elbows, staring down at you. “Sorry, must be all that outward growth” he says, smirking at you. “Oh shut up, you know I was joking. We’ve all seen your ridiculous six pack.” You almost miss the light pink tone spreading across his cheeks, his blush drawing out one of your own as you realize just how close his face is to yours.

“Oi, I thought you were hungry” Makki calls from the couch interrupting the intimate moment. Iwaizumi scoffs, standing up and pulling you up after him. “Where do we want to order food from?” you ask, grabbing your phone and a notepad to write down everyone’s orders. Half an hour later you’re settled down on the floor up front of the couch, your back resting between Makki’s calves, and eating pizza. The boys had argued over what movie to put on, only finally deciding after the food had arrived. You relax, the warmth of Makki, Mattsun, and Iwaizumi behind you and the weight of Oikawa’s head in your lap enough to make you drowsy.

After the movie is over the boys head home. You give them each a hug, thanking them again for all of their help. They are about ready to leave when Oikawa calls your name. You turn to look back at him, eyebrows raised slightly. “What do you think of poly-amorous relationships?” Iwaizumi slaps him in the back of the head. “Save it for another time Trashykawa, YN is tired and we need to go home. Oikawa is sulking as they make their way out the door. You stand in stunned silence, brain racing a mile a minute. You come to your senses, rushing to the door and throwing it open, catching the boys as they are about to step into the elevator. “Tooru,” you call as he places one foot in the elevator. He reaches a hand out to hold the doors open, before turning to you with a smile. “I guess I’ve never really thought about it, but if it was your four I wouldn’t mind.” His eyes go wide, and you watch as he opens his mouth to respond, but his words are cut off as an arm reaches out and pulls him into the elevator. You can’t help but giggle at the scene, heading back into your apartment.

You lay in bed, thinking over the events of your day and the unexpected question your best friend had posed. You had the distinct impression that your life was about to get very interesting.


	7. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

Your Sunday was unexpectedly quiet. You hadn’t heard from your friends since they had let you know they had gotten home safely the night before. You were a little nervous, mind turning over the last few minutes of your time together again and again. _Maybe Tooru was just joking_ you think as you clean up and rearrange a few things around your apartment. Your train of thought is interrupted when your phone rings. **  
**

“Hi.”

“YN, we’re having dinner at 4 pm if you would like to join us. I didn’t think you had gotten a chance to go to the store yet.” Maiko responded on the other line.

“That sounds great, thank you!”

After a quiet and comforting dinner at your dad’s house, you caught up on your homework for school the next day. It was late when your phone rang again, an unknown number appearing on the screen. Frowning, you accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“LN YN?” replies the male voice on the other line, it sounds vaguely familiar but you can’t place it.

“Yes, may I ask who is calling?”

“This is Detective Aomine, we had met previously?” Oh, so it was one of the cops from the hospital.

“Ah, hello Detective. How can I help you?” You couldn’t escape the sinking feeling in your stomach. _Why would he need to call you?_

“I have some unfortunate news. Iwasaki Yasahiro is being released tomorrow. I can’t really provide many details on his trial, unfortunately, but I do want to assure you that he will not be able to come near you. Your protection order is still in place and will be for at least the next year.”

You sat, eyes wide and brow scrunched as you stared at your phone. “LN-san? Are you still there?” “Y-yes, I am sorry. Thank you for letting me know.” “Keep this number in your phone, and feel free to call me if you have any problems” the detective added before ending the call.

You sat at your desk, staring blankly ahead as your mind tried to comprehend what you had just been told. Your fingers hovered over the call button, wondering if any of your friends would even answer your call at this point. Sighing, you lay your head in your palms, applying pressure to your eyes. After a few minutes you decide to just relax in the bath, leaving your phone to lay on the desk.

Your sleep that night was restless, leaving you feeling drained as you headed to school the next morning. You sighed as you entered the gym, waving hello to the few boys who were warming up. “Why do you look like that?” You jump a little at the gruff voice that appeared behind you. “Jesus ‘Tarou, are you trying to make me pee myself?” you grumble as you turn to face him. “While that would be amusing, I’m more concerned with the fact that you look like you haven’t slept at all.” You run your fingers through your hair, wondering how bad you actually looked.

“He’s getting released today. Detective called me last night.” You mumbled as you stared at your feet.

You heard your brother growl in response. “You’re fuckin’ joking right? Did you tell Dad?” “No, I haven’t called him yet.” Kentarou takes your bag, handing you your phone out of the front pocket. “Call him now” he says as he walks off. You head back outside the gym, dialing your father’s number.

Your father was very upset with the news when you called him, and immediately made plans to make sure you would have an escort to and from school. With Maiko’s and his work schedules and Kentarou’s schedule you would have to ask the boys for help filling in the gaps. You let out a frustrated groan before you smoothed your uniform and headed back into the gym.

The full team was warming up at this point, so you moved right into your manager tasks. Your brother caught your eyes, and you nodded at him- the unspoken communication that you had made the call. You filled the boys water bottles, returning back to the bench as Coach Irihata started going over what their goals for the next few weeks would be. You felt eyes on you, but focused on your tasks.

“YN-chan~” The smell of warm vanilla enveloped you as you felt the weight of arms wrap around your shoulders. “Good morning Oikawa.” Turning your head to look at him you notice the other three standing around you. Makki reaches out, pushing your hair away from your forehead. “Are you okay princess?” The soft tone of Oikawa’s voice against your ear elicits a shiver along your spine. “Not really” you breathe, pushing out of his grip. “Go practice, we can talk later.” You feel their scowls as you walk towards the Coach, clipboard in hand.

The four boys avoid you for the rest of morning practice, only approaching you again as you get ready to head to class. “So what’s going on YN?” Iwaizumi asks. Before you can respond Kentarou appears at your side. “What did Dad say?” You sigh. “Probably what you expect. He’s angry, and worried. He’ll be driving us to school and picking me up from Auntie’s when I work. Throughout the week I have to have one of you five walk home with me.” He grunts, giving you a small nod before he walks off again.

“To explain, my mother’s ex is getting released today.” The intense change of the aura surrounding the four boys is great, they’re practically seething. “If you guys aren’t comfortable walking me home-” you start to say, staring down at your feet as you adjust the strap of your bag, but you’re cut off. “Of course we’re walking you home everyday dumbass. What’s this shit about being uncomfortable?” Iwaizumi’s voice is stern, his anger seeping into his tone. “What I said Saturday. I didn’t hear from you guys yesterday so I thought,” you trail off, feeling like your face is on fire. You feel a sharp smack against the back of your head. “Ow,” you whine, turning to glare at the strawberry haired boy. “Don’t go assuming shit without talking to us first.” “Whatever” you huff as you start walking away. You look back at the group, standing in the doorway staring after you.

“Well? Are you just going to stand there and risk detention or are we going to class?” You hear Mattsun chuckle as they make their way towards you, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. “So when’s the house party?” he asks a few minutes later. You elbow him in the ribs, frowning. “No parties- I don’t want to be forced to move back into my dad’s house thank you very much.” You feel the tension between the five of you ease as you laugh at Mattsun’s mock-hurt face before you head off to your first class of the day.


	8. Stalking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr  
> Warnings: anxiety, stalking

The first few days after Iwasaki’s release from custody were uneventful. Your dad or Maiko brought you and Kentarou to school every morning. Your brother or the four boys walked you home each evening. On the days you worked at your Aunt’s shop your dad would pick you up at the end of your shift. You felt safe, but you were being cautious nonetheless.

Friday after practice Kentarou walked you home before heading home himself. You finished your homework, getting ready to make yourself dinner when you realized you really didn’t have anything to eat in the apartment. It was still early enough for a quick trip to the corner store, so you slipped on your shoes and headed down to the lobby of your little apartment complex. You didn’t live in a largely populated city, so the security level for your apartment was more on the rare side. You were grateful for the 24 hour attendant monitoring who came and went in the little building. You offered the man, Mr. Harada if you remembered correctly, a small wave as you left the building.

The sun was low in the sky, casting those lovely pink and orange hues across the sky. It was fairly warm for early May, definitely hoodie weather. Pulling the hoodie you had on up, you breathed in the spicy, slightly fruity scent of whatever cologne Mattsun used. You found yourself giggling as you remembered watching him tear apart Oikawa’s bedroom searching for the missing article of his clothing as you clutched your bag a little closer. He had other hoodies, this one was just his favorite- and yours.

The corner store was open rather late and offered everything you would need on a regular basis. You grabbed a basket and started scanning the isles to find what you would want to cook over the weekend. Fifteen minutes and three laps around the little store later, you were headed back to your apartment.

You waved a small greeting to the security guard as you approached the elevator. You stepped inside turning to press the button for your floor when you froze, eyes wide. Standing in the doorway of your apartment building was Iwasaki, his dark eyes narrowed and locked onto yours. You jammed your finger into the button for your floor before pressing the close doors button repeatedly, grateful that Mr. Harada had noticed the man and was moving around the desk to approach him.

Your chest was heaving as you struggled to calm your breathing. You stepped out onto your floor, sprinting to your apartment door. You fumbled with your keys, shaking hands causing you to drop them twice, and finally unlocked the door, stumbling inside. You slammed the door behind you, immediately locking both the handle and the top lock. You dug through your small bag to find your phone, opening your emergency contacts and dialing the newest number.

“Detective Aomine, how can I help you?”

“This is LN YN. Iwasaki, he came to my apartment building. I don’t even know how he found out where I live.”

“Please try to calm down LN-san. Where are you now?” The detective’s voice was level and soothing. You took a deep breath to try to calm yourself down before answering.

“I’m in my apartment. The security guard in my building was approaching him when I caught the elevator up.” There were muffled directions provided on the other end of the line.

“Okay LN-san, we are heading your way.”

While you waited for the officers to arrive, you sent a quick text to your group chat asking if any of the four boys were available and willing to come spend the night in your apartment with you. Iwaizumi texted you, privately, seconds later letting you know that he was on his way. You pushed away from the door, using the methodical process of putting groceries away to pull your mind further away from panic.

A loud knock at the door startled you, almost causing you to drop the cup you were holding. “LN-san, it’s Detective Aomine.” You opened the door to reveal the tall, dark skinned officer and his partner. The three of you were seated in your living room discussing where things would go from here when you heard another knock at the door. Both detective’s looked at you. “I asked my boyfriend to stay the night after I saw Iwasaki in the lobby. He was coming to pick me up for practice in the morning anyways.” They nod, the shorter of the two moving to open the door. “Ah, you’re Iwaizumi’s son aren’t you?” Detective Aomine asked as Iwaizumi came to sit next to you. “Yes sir. It’s good to see you both again.” It wasn’t surprising that the three of them knew each other since Iwaizumi’s parents both worked in related fields. “Call us if you have any further issues LN-san” the two detectives said as they left.

“What happened?” Iwaizumi asked as you made your way into the kitchen. “I ran to the corner store after ‘Tarou left, and when I walked into the elevator he walked into the building. I don’t know how he knows where I live, but even if it was by chance that he was here he saw me. I called the detectives as soon as I got into the apartment, and then I text the group chat. Didn’t really want to be here alone after seeing him.” You kept your back turned to him as you pulled out pans to make food. You knew your face would betray how bothered you still were.

You felt the warmth of Iwaizumi standing beside you before you saw him take the pan from your hands. “I’m helping.” You didn’t argue with him, opting to turn on some music and work alongside him. You didn’t talk much while you were cooking, just exchanging the occasional direction for the other. You had a little downtime while the food cooked, so you closed your eyes dancing along to the music. You felt a warm grip on your wrist as Iwaizumi pulled you to him, his other hand slipping in yours. Your eyes met his, a smile playing at your lips. “One word and I stop” he growls as he starts leading you around your small kitchen. You laughed when he dipped you to his waist, his eyes bright as he stared down at you. His face held the hint of a light blush as he stood you back up, turning back to the food you were cooking.

“Hey Iwa,” you started, a question at the tip of your tongue only to be interrupted by the loud rumbling of your stomach. Iwaizumi chuckled, peering at you over his shoulder as you buried your head between his shoulder blades. “Stupid stomach” you mumbled before pulling back and handing him plates.

After dinner you let Iwaizumi pick a movie while you showered. You returned to your bedroom, laughing when you saw that he had turned on one of the many Godzilla movies in your collection. You climbed over him, curling your legs around his and laying your head on his chest. He moved his arm to rest loosely across your waist. The warmth of his body paired with your relaxing shower had you on the edge of sleep. Your eyes were flattering shut when you heard the rumble of his deep voice through his chest. “YN.” “Hmmm?” He shifted a little, looking down at your face, your eyes still closed. “The question Trashykawa asked you last weekend, did you mean what you said?” You opened your eyes, peering up at him. His eyes gleamed with what you felt was curiosity. “Yeah, I did- I do mean it.” He only hummed in response, leaning back onto the pillows, his hand rubbing across your back. “I think we all need to talk after practice tomorrow.” You gave a small nod, too close to sleep to really respond.


	9. Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

The walk to practice the next morning involved Iwaizumi pulling you along by the hand as you attempted to shake the grogginess from your body. Even with the comfort of having a familiar warm body pressed against you, your sleep had been restless. You didn’t really wake up a lot, and you didn’t have nightmares; you just couldn’t shake the feeling of being on edge. You were grateful when you approached the school gates to see the ever so cheery Oikawa handing you a coffee.

“What did you and Iwa-chan get up to last night to have you looking so tired?” Oikawa asked, his tone low and suggestive. Your brain hadn’t managed to reach the point of awakeness that allowed you full control over your words yet. “Sadly, nothing beyond minor cuddling.” Oikawa’s eyebrows raised, a playful smirk forming on his face. “Did you hear that Iwa-chan~” the setter’s voice sang as he walked ahead of the two of you, “YN said sadly. You missed a prime opportunity to finally get some action!” You looked over at Iwaizumi, a red blush spread across his cheeks. “I’m gonna kill you Shittykawa” he growled as he leaped at the other. You laughed as you headed to the gym to set up for the morning.

Aside from Oikawa’s whining about Iwaizumi hitting him too hard, practice was uneventful. The gym was clean and you were locking up before you knew it. All four of the other second year boys walked home with you today, an unusual quiet settling in among you. You had made it halfway to your apartment when you remembered the question Iwaizumi had asked as you drifted in and out of sleep the night before. Your grip around your bag tightened inadvertently, and you immediately felt the light touch of a hand on the small of your back. Looking to your side you saw Iwaizumi’s concerned face. You cocked your head to the side, wondering why he was looking at you with that expression. As you entered your apartment building and gave the security guard a small wave you realized why he was concerned. You couldn’t help the small, happy chuckle that escaped your lips. He thought you were worried about your stalker. How could you worry about him when you were surrounded by four of your fiercest protectors?

You changed into shorts and a t-shirt, surprisingly one of your own this time, before settling onto the couch to enjoy the take out you had picked up on the way home. You listened as Oikawa ranted about some girl at school, laughing harder at Makki and Mattsun’s mocking banter more than at the story itself. Iwaizumi threw in the occasional insult aimed at the setter, earning an even more dramatic response. Sitting there, watching the four of them you found yourself looking forward to the conversation you knew was waiting beyond your finished lunch. You wanted this. You wanted them. All four of them.

After cleaning up from lunch, everyone was settled back into their spots and lounging comfortably. “So,” Iwaizumi started, rubbing at his neck awkwardly as if he was unsure of how to approach the topic. You sighed, stretching your legs across Matsukawa’s lap and leaning against Hanamaki’s shoulder. “You all want to date me.” Your tone conveyed a very balanced mixture of statement and question. At this point you were assuming this was true, but you needed them each to verbally confirm their wishes.

“You’re really just going to call us out like that? Acting like you don’t want the same thing?” Makki huffed down at you.

You slid to lay your head in his lap, making it easier to see his face. “Nuh-uh,” you waved your finger back and forth as you corrected him, “I have already made my thoughts clear. Not a single one of you has expressed your own interest on the matter.”

“Yes, YN, we are all four interested in a relationship with you.” Iwaizumi was the backbone of your friend group, his firm tone guiding the conversation along the right path and minimizing side tracking. His ability to manage the five of you was one of the qualities you found most endearing in him.

“Okay. So, assuming that Oikawa’s question wasn’t just something he pulled out of his ass, the four of you have already discussed a polyamorous relationship between us to some degree. Correct?” They nod in response. “So tell me what you discussed.”

“We all agreed that with how close to more than friends we all act anyways, it would be natural for us to cross that line together.” Oikawa responds brightly, his chocolate eyes shining as he smiled at you.

“You realize it won’t be that simple right? A normal relationship already takes a lot of work, this would quadruple that amount of effort.”

“That’s why we wanted to talk to you. Set up some ground rules maybe.” Matsukawa chimed in, his thick fingers massaging your calf muscles.

“Hmmm. Okay. We have to be one hundred percent honest with each other. That’s the most important part to making something like this work. We can’t hide feelings or concerns. No matter what they are.”

“We can’t be jealous of the time we spend with YN separately,” Makki adds. Oikawa lets out a small whine at the statement. “We can’t reasonably think that we will all four be available to be here together all the time. We all have our own hobbies and families that take up different portions of our time.”

“We should keep our relationship on the downlow. I don’t want to have to beat someone up for talking shit to YN.” Matsukawa says, his deep voice rumbling through you.

“We need a trial period. Give us all a chance to work through how this will work between each of us, and then decide if we really want to pursue this path.” Iwaizumi sits up, hands folded together beneath his chin. He looks at each of the other three boys, keeping everyone’s eyes trained on him before he speaks next. “No sex. Separately or together. We need to focus on building a real relationship with YN, not getting our dicks wet just because the opportunity presents itself.”

“Iwa-chan! I think that should be YN’s choice! If she wants one or all of us to help her lose her virginity you can’t deny her that!” Oikawa whines, his lip pulled out to a pout.

“Bold of you to assume I’m a virgin Trashykawa” you laugh. “But Iwa is right. As much as I would love to get down and dirty with all of you, we need to get our shit together first. Otherwise this whole thing will fall apart before we even have a chance to make it really work.”

They grumble out some form of agreement. “So, my four incredible boyfriends, are we just going to lay here all afternoon or did you guys want to do something fun?” You ease the conversation back to a casual topic effortlessly, listening as they announce their varied plans for the evening.

A few minutes later you feel eyes boring into you. Turning your head you notice Oikawa staring at you. “YN-chan~” he sings as he scoots closer to you. “Who was your first?” You laugh at his question, shaking your head.

“No one important.”


	10. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted to Tumblr.  
> Warnings: panic/anxiety, ptsd I guess would be more techinical

“We will be having a practice match tomorrow against Karasuno,” Coach Irihata told you as you were reviewing the next few weeks' practice schedule. “Okay! I will make sure we have everything set up for them!” He nodded, settling back onto the bench to watch the team as practice started.

You were setting up for the team’s first break when the gym door slammed open. The sound resonating through the air and jarring you to the core. Your mouth felt dry, your heart thundering against your ribs as the first seeds of panic crept in. You saw Kentarou stalking towards the Coach, handing him some papers, but your brain feels foggy. The anger radiating from your brother seeps into your skin. Flashes of memories you don’t wish to relive force their way into your thoughts. Your throat feels like it is constricting. You grip the clipboard in your hands hard enough to feel its rough edges threatening to cut into your palms. You let your eyes flutter closed, drawing in a deep breath and holding it until the tendrils of panic in your mind start to ease. Releasing the breath you open our eyes, turning to find four pairs of concerned eyes focused on you. With a shaky smile you throw them a small thumbs up, you’re okay.

During the next break Coach informs the team that Kentarou has been suspended from club activities for the next 3 months. You text your brother, reminding him that he’s an idiot but that you love him anyways. You recommend that he use the time to practice at a local gym, knowing that the loss of daily practice would only increase his aggression.

You jump slightly when you feel the weight of an arm across your shoulders. “Are you okay?” Matsukawa’s breath is hot against your ear as he whispers the question. “I’m… managing?” you offer, earning a chuckle from the dark haired boy. “Well obviously, that’s your job, but you know what I mean. We all saw how you reacted to that dipshit’s seething anger.” You lean your head against his shoulder, his arm pulling you in further. A deep breath, inhaling the oddly comforting mixture of musk and sweat. “Better now” you whisper, pulling away and ushering him back to practice. He pauses a few steps away from you. “I’m taking you on a date Saturday.” You roll your eyes at him, turning around to gather the boys water bottles and refill them if needed. You can’t hide the big smile spreading across your face.

Walking home from practice that evening Oikawa had his arm looped with yours, chattering excitedly about the match against Kageyama’s team. “Oh, YN-chan! Go shopping with me Saturday after practice?” His smile turns into a frown when he sees you shaking your head. “Sorry Oikawa, I have plans.”

“But YN-channnn, who could possibly be more important than us?” His lip is pushed out into a pout, his best attempt at giving you puppy eyes. You laugh at his dramatic gestures.

“She’s going on a date with me” Mattsun states. Your laughter only deepens when Oikawa places a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

“You’re letting eyebrows take you on a date before me?” Matsukawa frowns, ready to retaliate for the verbal insult. You shrug, cutting him off before he can pick a fight with the setter. “He asked first.”

Oikawa scowls, you can see the wheels turning in his mind. “We should all go out on a date then! All five of us!” He beams proudly as he looks around at the group.

“That will be nice sometimes, Trashykawa, but if we all go out every time then how are we supposed to get closer?” Iwaizumi says, his tone scolding.

“He’s right Oikawa. If we all go out together every time it wouldn't be any different than the five of us hanging out for the past two years.” You wrap your hand in his. “Do you really want every date you take me on to be with all five of us?” You flutter your eyelashes at him, watching as he realizes the implication.

“I call the next solo date then” he states proudly.

They all grumble out, choosing not to argue with the setter to prevent themselves from listening to his whining for the next week.

The next day as classes ended, you made sure the gym was set up and ready for the practice match against Karasuno. You were excited to see Kageyama again, even if he was an opponent this time. You waited by the gates, watching as their bus pulled in and unloaded. “Hello! You must be the Karasuno volleyball club! My name is YN, I am Aoba Johsai’s team manager. If you’ll follow me, I will show you to the gym!”

You hadn’t really looked the team over, opting to get them to the gym quickly. You felt someone fall into step beside you, turning your head to the side your steps falter briefly. “It’s nice to see you again YN.” Your face heats as you focus on the path up front of you. “It’s been a long time Daichi. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. I made Captain.” His smile stretches, a mixture of shy pride dancing in his eyes. You return his smile as you reach the gym, opening the doors for the rest of his team. “I wouldn’t have expected anything less” you say as he leads his team inside.

Towards the end of the group you smile brightly as your eyes fall on a familiar face. “Good luck today Tobio!” Kageyama sputters at your comment, nodding stiffly. “Kageyama! How do you know their manager?” You laugh as you overhear them bombarding him with questions.

“Hello, YN-san, I am Karasuno’s manager Kiyoko.” Their female manager offers her hand shyly. “It’s nice to meet you, Kiyoko.”

The match between the two teams was interesting. You were surprised by how well Kageyama played, knowing a little from Kunimi and Kindaichi about his history with volleyball in middle school. You can tell they aren’t fully in sync yet, but their overall energy is contagious. They are going to be really good opponents during the tournaments this year.

During a break, Daichi approaches you, the two of you chatting lightly for a moment. “Ah,” he says rubbing the back of his neck, “I don’t think your team appreciates me talking to their pretty manager.” You turn your head to see Hanamaki glaring at the two of you. A laugh escapes your lips as you shake your head. “I guess I should ease their displeasure” you say as you place a hand on his shoulder. “Good luck in the rest of the match Captain.”

The rest of the match is just as fun to watch. Your eyes follow the ball intently after Oikawa finally joins the team on the court. His serves are as intense as ever, and you feel immense pride watching him perform. Karasuno’s last play catches everyone off guard, ending the match with Aoba Johsai’s loss. You say quick goodbyes to the other team, leaving them to make the journey back to their bus alone.

“You know Makki, I never expected you to be the jealous type” you whisper just loud enough for the strawberry haired boy to hear. He scowls at you, turning to face you. All four of your boys join you, curiosity rippling through the air. “How do you know Karasuno’s captain?” Iwaizumi asks before any of the others can speak on the matter. You move away, starting to clean up the gym. “We have history.” Oikawa lets out a small gasp, and before you can turn around he has gathered his bag and left the gym. You look over to Iwaizumi, one eyebrow raised in confusion. He just shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders before moving to help you and the rest of the team with cleaning up.


	11. Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

Saturday morning Matsukawa picked you up from your apartment bright and early. “Ready for trouble?” His gruff voice was thick with sleep, the tone even more alluring in the early hours. “What’s the plan, partner in crime?” you ask, playfully bumping his arm as you walked together. “Mmmm, something fun.” He wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. “But first, a train ride.”

After a short train ride to a neighboring town, you find yourself standing outside of an outdoor sports complex. You peek over at Matsukawa quizzically. “I want to make a bet with you,” he says as he turns towards you. “We are competing in every type of game they offer. Whoever wins the most gets to make one request from the other person.” You narrow your eyes at him, sticking out your hand. “Be prepared to lose beefcake!” Mattsun just laughs, pulling you inside the complex with him.

Your competition began with the simplest task: a need for speed go kart race! Your adrenaline was pumping as you zipped around the track, laughing wildly as you caught snippets of Matsukawa’s swearing each time you passed him. You felt so alive, the wind on your face and a genuine smile on your face. You couldn’t contain the bubbly laughter as you exited the track, pulling Mattsun along behind you. “YN one, Mattsun zero. Loser choses the next game, so where are we going?”

You let Mattsun lead you to the most time consuming of your competitions: mini golf. Watching your giant boyfriend tower over the small greenery of the course was entirely too amusing, so you made sure to sneak a few well timed photos to share with the group. “Taking pictures of me when I’m not looking, huh?” You laughed, showing him your most recent capture. “I couldn’t help it. You look so adorably out of place!” “Flirting with me and insulting me in the same sentence, I didn’t think you could get anymore attractive yet here we are.” He wrapped his arms around your waist as he walked you to the next hole. You were pretty terrible at mini golf. Even with Matsukawa behind you teaching you how to swing, you still managed to miss every shot. “Me one, you one. You lost so you pick where we go next. Arcade or batting cages?”

You lead Mattsun to the batting cages, saving the arcade for winding down afterwards. You let him go first, watching as the muscles in his back tensed and rolled under his tight black t-shirt with each swing. He grumbled under his breath with each miss, swearing loudly once and receiving a punishing glare from the mother with her children in the next lane. You stifled your laughter, turning your face away to hide the amusement dancing in your eyes. He placed the helmet on your head, rapping his knuckles against the solid material. “Just making sure you’re safe, bunny” he breathes when you swat his arm. You step into the cage, lining up at the plate. The machine makes a loud pop as the ball is released, and you jump at the sound, almost dropping the bat. You can feel your heart pounding against your chest, the anxiety crushing down on your shoulders. This process repeats for the first few balls as you struggle to focus yourself on the here and now. You take a deep breath, eyes trained on the noisy machine, when the ball pops out this time you swing smoothly, connecting with the ball and sending it flying.

You exit the cage, letting Matsukawa remove the helmet and take the bat. “Looks like I won this round. Think you can beat me in the arcade?” He raised an eyebrow as he walked beside you, a warm smile on his face. “I admit you are a formidable opponent when it comes to arcade games, but I won’t give you the win that easily!” You wrap your arm around his, leaning your head against his shoulder. You were grateful for Matsukawa’s knowing personality. With everything that had happened throughout the past year, he had never changed how he treated you. He didn’t baby you, nor did he try to remove you from situations that had the potential to trigger you. His presence was a solid reminder that he was there if you needed him, but he let you fight your battles alone. He knew that was what you needed, and you couldn’t express how much that consideration meant to you. All four of the boys were the same to different degrees, each trusting you to reach out when you needed their help.

You spent the rest of your time in the arcade, playing every single game they offered at least once. By the time you had decided to leave, the two of you had amassed a large amount of tickets, taking them to the counter. Matsukawa combined his tickets with yours, leaning against your back as you picked out your prizes. He laughed when you picked five keychains, one that reminded you of each of your four boyfriends and one for yourself. “They’ll love them” he says as he slides them all in his pocket. You smile taking his hand. “So you won, I guess that means your wish is my command.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him playfully, earning a hearty laugh that makes your heart flutter. “Later, for now we are going to get some food. I wouldn’t want you to turn into a gremlin on the way home.” You punch his arm as he leads you out into the city.

He takes you to a small restaurant, tucked down a side alley off the main strip. It’s busy, but not overly crowded so the two of you are able to grab a booth easily. The food waitress is very friendly, taking your orders and bringing you drinks. You chat about the upcoming tournament, your classes at school, your brothers suspension, and everything in between. Your food is brought out quickly, the aroma mouthwatering. You share bites of your order with Mattsun, laughing when he acts dejected when you offer him a bite only to eat it yourself. Your heart feels as full as your stomach as you ride the train back to the station closest to your apartment. Your head rests on Matsukawa’s shoulder as you stare dreamily out the window.

You have your keys in hand, ready to unlock the door when your phone rings. You fish it out, letting Mattsun finish opening the door. “Hello Oikawa” you sigh as you answer the call. “YN-chan! How’s your date with our favorite middle blocker?” “Kindaichi would be hurt to hear you say that Trashykawa. A captain shouldn’t play favorites” you tease the setter as you kick your shoes off and collapse onto the couch on top of Matsukawa’s lap. “YN-channnn, you spend too much time with Iwa-chan.” You can hear his pout through the line. “It was a lot of fun. We just got back to my apartment actually.” “Perfect!” You pull the phone away from your ear as he shouts into it. “We will be over shortly! You may have gone on a date with Mattsun earlier, but we can all hang out now that you are back! See you soon princess!” He hangs up before you can respond, so you just roll your eyes and let the phone drop to the floor beside you.

“I take it we are going to have company?” You nod up at Matsukawa, leaning into his hand as he runs his fingers through your hair. “Well, I guess I should cash in my reward from our bet before they get here.” His eyes glint with mischief as he smiles down at you. “Mmm, and what’s your reward?” you ask as you sit up, turning to face him. “A kiss” he whispers, his breath warm against your lips. Your pulse is racing as you close the distance between you. His lips are rough, but the kiss is soft and sweet. You card your fingers through his hair as he pulls you over to straddle his hips, the kiss deepening through the movements. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, you part them allowing him to sweep into your mouth. You can feel yourself slowly starting to get aroused as you push yourself closer to him. A loud knock prompts you to break the kiss, your forehead leaning against his as you catch your breath. “I won’t lose next time” you breathe as you push yourself off of him to open the door.


	12. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

You open the door, letting your three remaining boyfriends into your apartment. Hanamaki flopped down on the end of the couch opposite Matsukawa and you moved to sit between them, only to be interrupted by a whine of your name. “YN-channn, you spent all day with Mattsun.” You were ready for Iwaizumi to smack the setter in the back of the head, but before he could react Mattsun grabbed Oikawa’s hand and pulled him onto his lap. “If you wanted to kiss me that badly all you had to do was ask.” Oikawa’s eyes were wide, his cheeks tinting a bright pink as he pushed himself back to his feet, arms crossed over his chest as he pouted. “As if I would want to kiss you” he grumbled as he sank down on the floor before you. Iwaizumi grabbed the remote, flipping through movies as you all settled in and relaxed. You ran your fingers through Oikawa’s soft hair, fingers digging into his scalp and earning a happy sigh from the setter. You made a mental note to discuss his reaction to Mattsun’s comment later.

You are relaxed on the couch, your waist laid across Makki’s lap and your head leaning against Oikawa’s shoulder listening to them argue about something that happened in the movie they had picked when you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Pulling it out you see a text notification from Daichi, your eyebrows scrunching in confusion as you open the message.

D: Hey YN, I have an awkward favor to ask.

YN: I’m listening.

D: Be my pseudo-girlfriend for the wedding I have to attend tomorrow?

You choke a little when you read his most recent reply, earning a concerned look from Oikawa. You twist in Hanamaki’s lap to wrap your arms around the setter’s neck allowing him to read the messages. “Tell him no way,” Oikawa says, scowling at the thought of you pretending to be dating a rival. You laugh a little, ready to respond when another message appears.

D: I know you are seeing someone, and I will respect those boundaries. I just need a female date to act as a deterrent. Naori is going to be there. You know that story already, which is why I am asking you.

You let out an exasperated sigh, your forehead falling to rest against Oikawa’s soft hair. “I am assuming that your sigh and what I read in the message means you are going to ask us for the okay to go?” You look at him with apologetic eyes. “Oi, what are you two whispering about with those concerned faces?” Iwaizumi interrupts. You lean back, unweaving your arms from Oikawa’s neck. “Daichi wants me to be his date for a wedding tomorrow to help fend off his crazy ex-girlfriend. I can’t tell you what exactly happened between the two of them in the past, but it’s the equivalent of me going to a party and running into Iwasaki. She’s less aggressive, but equally as psychotic.” 

“Psychotic enough to go after you for being his date, or?” Iwaizumi asks. You shake your head. “More like Misery style? Kidnapping him, injuring him so he can’t escape, that kind of psychotic. She wouldn’t touch me anyways, because she knows Kentarou, and he terrifies her.” He thinks about what you said, his eyes searching the faces of the other three boys. “If anything happens, he’s dead” is all the ace says in response, turning his attention back to the movie. You nod, unphased by the threat, and reply to Daichi letting him know you were willing to go and finding out the rest of the details for the event.

After the movie, the boys get ready to leave. Oikawa lingers back, obviously unwilling to leave your side. “You wanna just have a sleepover?” His chocolate eyes light up at your question. “YN-chan, you read my mind!” You smile, making your way to the door to see the other three out. Matsukawa leaves first, pausing to press a quick kiss to your lips. You hum in approval, eyes fluttering closed. When you open them again you’re met with three envious stares. You giggle, ushering them towards the door. “If you want a goodbye kiss you’d better get over here.” 

Makki shuffles forwards, leaning in quickly to capture his lips with your own. His lips are softer than Mattsun’s were, and the kiss is sweeter. He pulls away, smiling brightly as he leaves. Iwaizumi approaches you last, knowing Oikawa had opted to stay the night with you. You pull him in for a kiss. His lips are rough like Mattsuns, and his kiss matches. You feel breathless when you pull away, your cheeks pink. “Good night boyfriends,” you say as they head out into the hall.

You half expect Oikawa to pull you into a searing kiss as soon as you close the door, but instead he just takes your hand and leads you to bed. “We have to get up early to dress you up in something suitable for a wedding” he says when he sees your confused expression. You shrug, grabbing some clothes from your closet. “I need a shower first. Do you want your extra clothes?” He nods, accepting the clothes you offer him. He opts to join you in the shower, helping you to wash your hair.

“Hey Tooru.” He hums in response, focused on working the conditioner through your locks. “Are you bi?” He freezes at your question, and you turn to see his red cheeks and wide eyes. You turn, placing your hands on his cheeks. “We are literally in a poly relationship with three other guys, none of us are going to judge you for it.” He swallows visibly, nodding slowly. “And really, if Mattsun and Makki haven’t fucked each other at least once by now I would be surprised.” He laughs, the panic leaving his face. “Let’s rinse your hair.”

You cuddle into the bed next to him, laying on your stomach with your chin resting on his chest. “I guess I’m not sure what I am.” Oikawa starts the conversation, his eyes focused on the ceiling as he talks. His hands are wrapped around your waist, rubbing up and down your sides. “I’ve always been attracted to Iwa-chan, and I’m obviously attracted to you. But I’m not attracted to every girl or guy I meet.” You hum, tracing patterns on his bare chest. “You should tell them.” His eyes meet yours, an unsure look on his face. “I won’t tell them, but I think you should. Take your time, and when you are ready I will be there to support you.” You shuffle, moving forwards to be closer to him.

“For now though, I would love a kiss from my endearing boyfriend.” His smile is breathtaking as he beams at you, pulling your face to meet him. His lips are soft and his kiss is ruggedly sweet. He kisses you lazily, not pushing to turn the kiss into anything more. You sigh into his kiss, relaxing in his arms. You finally break the kiss, burying your head against his shoulder sleepily. “YN,” his voice is soft as he speaks to you. “Thank you.” You cuddle him tighter, an unspoken response to his gratitude.

The next day Oikawa fixes your hair after helping you to choose an outfit for the event. You chose something casual enough for a wedding, yet stunning enough to ensure Naori wouldn’t dare approach you. Daichi picked you up at 11, offering Oikawa a wave as you climbed into the truck beside him. Daichi let out a deep chuckle as he looked away from you. “What?” “Nothing. You look great, YN.” You frown a little as you look at him. “You look presentable” you reply, earning a hearty laugh from the captain.

The wedding ceremony was cute, and surprisingly quick. The reception was more time consuming. You talked occasionally with the members of Daichi’s family you had previously met. You never strayed too far from his side, eyes peeled for the venomous snake hiding amongst the crowd. It was as you watched the couple float around the dancefloor that Naori chose to make her appearance. You were standing beside Daichi, slightly hidden from view by the crowd. You saw her before she saw you, so you slipped your hand in his leaning up to whisper in his ear. His eyes followed yours, landing on his ex-girlfriend’s figure.

He couldn’t suppress a smile as you led him onto the dance floor. “She looks thoroughly pissed” he laughs as you wrap your hands loosely around his neck. “I honestly thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head when she saw me. I guess my brother scared her really good.” His hands settle on your waist as you laugh, the image of the girl’s face now etched into your memory. “So,” he says, clearing his throat, “Oikawa, huh?” You feel your cheeks heat up under his curious gaze. “It’s complicated” is all you offer. He shrugs, accepting your answer. “Well as long as you’re happy, then I am happy for you.”

He drops you back off at your apartment after he decides to leave the wedding reception. “Thank you again, YN. It would have been a lot more awkward for me if I had attended alone.” “I’m always here to help you escape that toxic psycho, Daichi. That’s what friends are for!” You offer him a smile and a wave as you head into your apartment. You kick off your shoes and change into one of the boys extra shirts before collapsing onto your bed. You pull your phone over and shoot a message to your group chat.

YN: You should have seen the way her eyes bugged out of her head when she saw me at the wedding with Daichi.

You laugh before immediately sending another message.

YN: I know how you feel all the time now Iwa. Terrifying others with just a look is a real power trip.


	13. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr.  
> This chapter has our first piece of NSFW content.  
> Warnings: oral (giving), swearing, a little bit of dirty talk?

The end of May and beginning of June was usually a busy time for the Volleyball Club as they prepared for the upcoming matches in the annual interhigh. Practices ran late every evening, and it’s usually because you had to force Oikawa away from practice as he often pushed his limits way too far. You knew he was insecure about his abilities, the inner thought of not being good enough constantly driving him to overwork himself. He needed a distraction, something to get his mind off of the upcoming tournament for a bit. Luckily you had the perfect idea.

At the end of another late practice, you were picking up the scattered volleyballs and cleaning the gym while the boys changed in the locker room. You had everything cleaned up, the only task left being to lock up after you had left. You heard them heading your way before you saw them, their laughter echoing down the small hallway. “Hey Oikawa, walk me home?” you asked as they approached. His chocolate eyes lit up at your question, a smirk making its way onto his face. “Of course my YN-chan would want me to walk her home,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You rolled your eyes at him, ignoring his comment as you left the school. When you got to the point where your group would separate you gave the other three quick kisses and waves of goodbye.

“So, I asked you to walk me home for a reason,” you started talking as soon as you were far enough away from the others to avoid your conversation being overheard. “Hmmm, and what does my princess need?” “Iwa’s birthday is this weekend.” You peer over at the setter, watching his face light up even brighter as he turned to look at you. “You want to throw Iwa-chan a surprise party? You know he will hate it. Let’s do it!” He clapped his hands together eagerly, the gears in his mind turning rapidly. “I was thinking of having the team come over for dinner Saturday. His mom will want to have him at home to celebrate on Sunday. I need you to help me though.”

“Of course, of course! What did you have in mind?” he asked.

You spent the week getting everything ready in between classes and after practice. You decided not to tell the team until Saturday, simply having Oikawa tell them to not make plans with no explanation as to why. Everyone was on board, assuming that with how quiet you had been this past week that you had been devising a plan.

Saturday rolled around and you got permission from the coach to skip practice, spending the day decorating your apartment and getting everything ready for the surprise party. Oikawa, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki were going to have a long practice, while the rest of the team would make their way to your apartment to surprise the vice captain. You were icing the cake you had spent the majority of the day baking when the first and second years arrived.

“Wow YN, you really went all out didn’t you?” Yahaba said as he settled onto the couch, his eyes roaming the balloons and streamers adorning most of your apartment. You just smiled, your cheeks growing flushed as you went back to your task. “Did you need help with anything?” Kindaichi asked shyly. His eyes went wide as his gaze fell to the cake you were adding finishing touches to. “Did you make that yourself, YN? That looks incredible!” “Thanks Kindaichi! I did make it myself! I don’t think I need any help either. Everything should be set up, we’re just waiting on the birthday boy to show up at this point!” You slid the cake into the fridge, a small smile on your face. Your phone dings with a message from Oikawa letting you know that they were on their way.

“What are you doing Shittykawa?” you heard Iwaizumi ask angrily as you opened the door. Oikawa had placed his hands over the birthday boy’s eyes to cover his sight. “Don’t you trust me Iwa-chan?” Oikawa pursed his lip into a pout as he guided his friend into the apartment. As the setter dropped his hands you joined the team waiting in your living room. “Surprise!” Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed as he took in the decorations in your apartment. They made their way to you, his intense gaze softening as he took in your excited features. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should’ve guessed you’d do something like this. Thanks.” You smiled brightly at him, letting them all settle in as you brought out food and drinks with Kindaichi’s help. You sat on the floor between Iwaizumi’s legs, listening as the team talked and laughed.

You felt fingers brush along the back of your neck. Turning your head your eyes met with the ace’s green ones. “YN made you the coolest cake Iwa-senpai” Kindaichi says suddenly. Your cheeks heat up as you look across to him. “YN baked something? Are we sure it isn’t poisoned?” Makki jokes, scrunching his nose at you. “Only your slice Makki,” you jab, sticking your tongue out at him. You make your way into the kitchen, Oikawa following behind to help you. “It’s in the fridge if you want to carry the cake.” He opens the door, letting out a low whistle of appreciation at the sight of your creation. “Damn YN, Kindaichi wasn’t joking.” You roll your eyes, grabbing plates and forks and a knife before following the setter back into the living room. He sets the cake down on the table in front of Iwaizumi. The ace’s eyes are wide as he looks at the cake, his gaze eventually falling on you. “Woah YN, you made Iwa a Godzilla cake? Are we all getting cool themed cakes for our birthdays? If so I request an ass cake.” You throw a pillow at Makki, who just laughs as he catches it.

The party winds down, everyone trickling out as night falls. Makki, Mattsun, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi are the only ones left as you clean up. You’re reaching up to tear down the last row of streamers when you feel strong arms wrap around you, the weight of a head against the back of your shoulder preventing you from grabbing the remaining tape. “Thank you for all of this YN. You didn’t have to do all of this.” You smile, twisting around to press a soft kiss to the corner of Iwaizumi’s lips. “I know, but I wanted to. It’s your birthday and I care about you. Plus it was a good chance to distract you all for an evening.” He pulls you in for a rough kiss, a small smile on his face as he pulls away.

“Oh, YN-chan!” The smile disappears at the sound of Oikawa’s voice. “We are leaving, give us goodbye kisses!” You pull away from Iwaizumi’s embrace, rolling your eyes at his antics but your lips curl up to a smile as you meet them at the door. Oikawa hugs you tight, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Have fun princess. Make sure Iwa-chan has a birthday he’ll never forget.” Your face grows a shade of crimson red at his words, you punch him in the arm playfully muttering for him to shut up.

You shut the door behind them, turning your attention back to Iwaizumi. His eyebrow is raised as he watches you. “Will you stay the night?” You ask, fidgeting slightly. “You know I will if that’s what you want.” You nod, taking his hand and pulling him to your bedroom. His green eyes watch as you sit him on the edge of your bed nervously. Your (e/c) eyes are swirling with excitement as you lean in to kiss him. His hands rest on the back of your thighs, just beneath your shorts. You run your fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands as you press further into the kiss. His hands roam up and down your sides and thighs. You part your lips, inviting his tongue into your mouth and pushing your own against his playfully. When you pull away to catch your breath, he settles his hands against the back of your thighs again, his thumbs rubbing across the sensitive skin. You skim your hands over his shoulders and down his chest to the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up over his head and discards the material away. Your fingers ghost over the broad muscles of his chest and biceps. His calloused palms grip your skin firmly as he pulls you in for another searing kiss.

“I want to do something special for your birthday, will you let me?” you ask as you drop to your knees before him. “If you want to, you can. Don’t think you have to just because it’s my birthday.” he replies, his eyes glued to yours. You run a finger over his semi-hard length beneath the front of his joggers, your tongue licking along your bottom lip. “I want to,” you breathe as you repeat the motion with your palm, feeling him growing harder with the increased pressure. He pulls at the collar of your shirt, a silent request for you to remove it. You oblige, pulling your bra off with it. You hook your fingers into the waistband of his pants, eyes finding his as he lifts his hips for you to remove them. Your eyes wander over his exposed skin before settling on the tent in his boxers, a small smudge of precum tainting against the light grey. You run your nails up the insides of his thighs as you lean forwards, pressing open mouthed kisses to his clothed length. His hands weave into your hair as he sucks in a breath from the contact.

You continue to tease him for a moment before you pull down the boxers, watching intently as his hard cock slips out, laying against his abdomen. Leaning back in, you kitten lick your tongue across his tip before you move downwards, letting out soft pants against his length. You flatten your tongue, sliding up his length from the base to his tip and swirling around him. You suck his tip into your mouth, pulling back off with a pop. “YN,” Iwaizumi growls out in warning, his tone demanding. You smile up at him playfully before you take him back in your mouth pushing more and more of his length into you until your nose is nuzzling the skin above his base. He groans, bucking up into you and causing you to gag around him. You pull back to his tip before repeating the process, running your tongue against the thick vein along the bottom as you take him back to your throat.

His fingers grip your hair tighter as his thrust gags you again. You pull back up, moving a hand to his base as you start bobbing up and down his length at a steady pace. He lets out another groan, his hips starting to thrust up into your mouth faster. You relax your jaw, hollowing your cheeks around him as you let him fuck your mouth. “You look so gorgeous like this YN, swallowing my cock. Your mouth feels so good.” You moan around him as his praise sends waves of arousal to your soaked core. You sneak a hand up to tug gently at his balls, his pace stuttering a few minutes later. He lets out a low moan as his grip in your hair tightens painfully, his cock is pushed to the back of your throat as he spills his seed. You swirl your tongue around his tip as you pull off of him, reveling in the way he shudders under the extra stimulation.

He pulls you up to him, pressing you against his chest as he kisses you deeply. “Happy Birthday Hajime” you whisper.


	14. Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted to Tumblr.  
> Warnings: NSFW content, unprotected sex, panic attacks/ptsd, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

The birthday party for Iwaizumi had worked rather well as a temporary distraction and destressor for the team. When they returned to practice the following monday, everyone was rejuvenated and more energetic than ever. With the tournament only a few days away the team's confidence was restored, and you felt a swell of pride in your heart.

The tournament went smoothly, leading up to the match the entire team had been waiting for: a chance to defeat Karasuno after losing to them in the practice match. You had watched their earlier matches, silently cheering on the few friends you had made on the team, but as soon as both teams had stepped onto the court your focus was solely on your own team. You were on the edge of the bench, watching with pride as the boys poured their all into the match. The deuce during the third and final set was taxing for both teams, the exhaustion clearly written on all of their faces. You watched with reverence as your team blocked the ball, Karasuno scrambling to stop it before it hit the floor. Your eyes flashed to the scoreboard as the team rejoiced: 33 to 31. Aoba Johsai had won.

Your skins jittered as you watched the team line up, officially ending the match. You waited patiently until you were headed to the locker rooms to congratulate the boys. Emotions were running high between you all, the joy of beating the ‘genius setter’ pumping adrenaline through their veins. You were immediately sandwiched into a tight hug by Mattsun and Makki, giggling as they squeezed you tightly. “I knew you guys could do it,” you squealed. You wiggled out of their grasp, wrapping your arms quickly around Iwaizumi. You searched the hallway over his shoulder, looking for the familiar mop of brown hair, a small frown forming on your face when you can’t find him.

“Hey where is-” you are cut off by warm arms wrapping around you, the scent of sweat and vanilla surrounding you. Oikawa presses a wet kiss to your cheek, a goofy grin spread across his face. He looks absolutely intoxicated by the win, you turn your head ready to comment only to be pressed further into Iwaizumi’s chest as Oikawa grips the back of his best friend's neck tightly. Iwaizumi’s eyes are wide as Oikawa slots his lips against his, melting against you in a heated kiss. You felt the sudden tension in the setters body as he broke the kiss. His chocolate eyes were gaping, the irises swimming with apprehension. Before anyone could react he had released his grip on the two of you, his long legs carrying him down the hallway and around the corner in seconds. Shaking off the shock of his actions Iwaizumi ran a hand over his face, a loud sigh falling from his lips. “You three go shower, I’ll take care of him,” you say gently, your hand squeezing Iwaizumi’s shoulder lightly before you jog down the hallway.

You catch sight of his tousled brown hair in the crowd of people exiting the stadium. “Tooru!” Your shout is drowned out by the loud conversations of the people between you. You let out a few curses under your breath as you push your way through the crowd. When you finally break free of the throngs of supporters you press to your tiptoes, searching for the setter. You yelp when a large hand grips your shoulder tightly, turning towards the owner. You felt as if your heart had stopped beating, the world around you disappearing in favor of the panic coursing through your veins. You wanted to run, to kick out, to scream, to do anything- but you were frozen staring wide-eyed at the man whose image haunted your dreams.

“There you are babe, I’ve been looking all over for you!” You hear the deep voice, a faint but grounding sound in the background of your mind. A strong arm wraps around your waist pulling you from the grasp Iwasaki had on your shoulder. You manage to turn your head, eyes landing on the tanned skin and tousled dark hair of Daichi. You watch his lips move, knowing he is addressing the man behind you, but you can’t make out his words. You are drowning in the paralyzing fear that had overtaken your body. Daichi’s grip on your waist tightens as he drags you away. He’s asking you questions, and you try to answer but your mind and body aren’t cooperating just yet. His dark eyes reflect your own fear as he continues to guide you away. He finally stops, turning to you a question on his lips. His eyes light up a bit, his chest rumbling against you as he shouts to someone behind you.

“YN-chan~.” The soft, concerned voice cuts through your panic, freeing you from your immobilization. You turn around, rushing across the small area and wrapping your arms around Oikawa’s neck tightly. You bury your face in his neck, trying to breathe him in, but the breath is stuttered- a choked sob falling from your lips. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you impossibly tight against him as his eyes look at Daichi questioningly. “She was walking outside when some guy stopped her, I saw the panicked look in her eyes and intervened. She couldn’t say anything, I had to literally drag her here,” he pauses, stepping closer so that his voice would be less likely to carry. “That was him wasn’t it? The guy who attacked her last year?” Oikawa rubs soothing circles into your back as your sobs quiet a little. “I imagine so. He shouldn’t have been here. I’ll take her home. Thank you for rescuing her.” Daichi nods, casting one last glance at you before he leaves.

Oikawa pulls back, peering down into your crying face. “Let’s go back to your place and get a nice relaxing bath, yeah? I think we both could use it.” You notice his red eyes, feel the tension in his body. Today didn’t feel like a win on any front. “Please” you manage to whisper, your voice hoarse from crying.

The journey back to your apartment is made in silence, both of you too lost in your own thoughts to speak. Your arm is around his hips, your hand slid beneath his jacket and jersey pressed against the bare skin of his hip. His arm is around your waist, his grip holding you against him. You needed to feel him there with you, to be enveloped in his familiar scent, and he needed the same from you. In the safety of your home you finally separate, Oikawa heading into the bathroom to run water for the two of you while you grab clothes from your closet. By the time you make it into the bathroom the setter is already undressed, pulling you further into the room and helping you to remove your clothes also. He helps you into the tub before sliding in behind you, a content sigh falling from his lips as he pulls you to lay back against him. You settle into the warm water, relaxing in the peacefulness of the moment.

“Tooru.” He hums in response, tilting his head forwards to rest it on your shoulder. “Why did you run away?” You can feel him tense as he fidgets behind you. “I kissed Iwa-chan, YN. I didn’t ask him, I didn’t even warn him, I just gave in to the emotions of the moment. What if he didn’t want me to kiss him? What if he hates me now?” You chuckle, turning around to flick him in the forehead. “If he didn’t want to kiss you he would have pushed you away dumbass.” Oikawa’s eyes grow wide with realization as he thinks back. “Iwa-chan… might have kissed me back? What does that even mean!” His voice comes out as a whine, his head falling backwards dramatically. You shrug, leaning your head against his chest to listen to his heart beat. “Dunno, you’ll have to ask him about it.”

Oikawa’s hands roam your back, massaging the muscles. You try to relax into the touch, jumping occasionally when your mind wanders back to the events outside of the stadium. Peeking up at the setter’s face you see him worrying at his lip, his own anxieties not dissipating in the warm water. You reach a hand up, pulling his chin down towards you as you lean up pressing a searing kiss to his lips. You kiss him hungrily, a mess of tongues and teeth until you are gasping for breath. “Distract me Tooru” you whisper against his lips, sliding up to straddle his hips. His hands grip your waist tightly as he kisses you again, more hurried than the last. His kisses travel across your cheeks and jaw as you tentatively grind your hips against his length. He hisses, his fingers digging into your skin, but he doesn’t stop you. You repeat the motion as he reaches the sweet spot on your neck, his hips bucking against you as he nips at your soft skin.

You snake a hand between your bodies, fingers wrapping around his erect cock, stroking him gently. You explore his length, fingers ghosting over his tip, around his head, down the thick vein on the side. His fingers join you as he slides them along your folds, a groan pressed against your skin as he gathers your slick before sinking two of his digits inside of you. You moan at the feeling of his long fingers reaching deep inside of you, rocking your hips against them as you pump his shaft. He thrusts into you lazily, feeling your walls clench around him when his other hand pinches your nipple. “Tooru,” you breathe, sliding both of your hands up to rest on his shoulders, “want to feel you buried inside of me, please.” Oikawa chuckles, pulling his fingers out of you and lining his tip up with your entrance. “Anything for you, princess” he whispers as he presses a kiss to your lips.

You sink down onto him slowly, head thrown back as he stretches you deliciously. “You fit so good around my cock princess” he groans as he bottoms out, feeling your walls clench around him. You pull up off of him, sinking back down slowly. You alternate between grinding him against your deepest, most sensitive spots and bouncing up and down on his length. His moans are the prettiest sound you have ever heard. You feel the warmth pooling in your stomach getting closer to its peak, your hands tangling into the soft brown locks before you. Oikawa feels your walls clenching around him, the mewls falling from your lips a sign of how close you were. He thrusts his hips up to meet your movements, a loud moan escaping your lips as he quickens the pace. The warmth in your stomach grows, his fingers pressing into your clit sending you over the edge. Your vision is clouded white as he thrusts through your orgasm, the feeling of your walls tightening around him enough to send him over the edge a few thrusts later.

You rest your forehead against his chest, panting as you try to catch your breath. The loud ringing of both of your phones making you jolt, the movement earning a groan from the setter. “It’s probably the others wondering where we escaped to. We should let them know that we are okay.” Oikawa nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he lifts you off of him. “Let’s clean up and then we will call them. And get some food because I am starving!” You laugh, a happy glow returning to the chocolate eyes you adore so very much.


	15. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crossposted to Tumblr  
> Warnings: trauma, nightmares, breakdown

Stepping out of your bathroom, with Oikawa following close behind, you scooped your cell phone from the kitchen counter. Clicking the small button that lit up the screen, concern immediately adorned your features as you took in the myriad of missed phone calls and text messages from the other boys. You quickly unlocked the screen, dialing the most recent number. The line had barely begun to ring when a gruff voice answered on the other end. “Jesus Christ YN.”

“What’s wrong Iwa?” Oikawa wraps his arms around you, pressing his ear against the other side of the phone. You were surprised he hadn’t said anything to the other boy, but assumed he was still too nervous about his reaction to the kiss from earlier.

“You were supposed to find Trashykawa and calm him down. We’ve been looking all over this damn campus for you two. Only to run into Karasuno and hear from their captain that you had a run in with that bastard-” 

“We’re sorry that we scared you guys. I just couldn’t handle staying there after I saw him. So Oikawa brought me back to my apartment.” You cut off Iwaizumi, reassuring him that you are safe. He grunted, thinking for a moment.

“We’ll be there shortly,” he said before ending the call.

You sighed, turning to wrap your arms around Oikawa’s waist. “Why did today have to turn so sour” you groaned into his shoulder. You felt the soft rumble of his chuckle as he shrugged, placing a kiss to the top of your head. His stomach grumbled loudly, both of you laughing at the loud noise. “Let’s order some food for all of us,” you say as you pull away, fingers dialing your usual delivery place as the setter collapses onto the couch.

The food arrived minutes before the other boys, the mouthwatering aroma drawing you in. You sat on the couch, legs thrown across Oikawa’s lap, sharing some of the food. Iwaizumi, Mattsun, and Makki arrived a few minutes later, utilizing the key you had given them. All three of them glared at the two of you as they made their way into the small apartment.

“First you ditch us at the stadium, making us worry that you’d been kidnapped, and now you’re eating without us?” Makki was partially joking, trying to ease the heavy tension in the room.

“You know I would never invite you over and not feed you,” you comment, pointing to the bag of take out awaiting them on your kitchen counter. Their eyes followed your finger, lighting up at the sight of the white containers. You climbed off of Oikawa’s lap, settling on the floor against the couch where you knew Makki and Mattsun would sit.

  
For the first time, well ever, you ate in awkward silence with the four boys. Their exhaustion from the three games they had played that day was apparent on their faces. You felt a twinge of guilt for having caused the three of them additional stress through the lack of communication, but also a sliver of disappointment that they were so upset with you for escaping a situation that was dangerous for you. You sighed, climbing up to put the rest of your food in the fridge for later, the stress of the day churning uneasily in your stomach. Oikawa’s chocolate eyes followed you as you laid out on the floor in front of them, arm thrown over your eyes.

“What happened with Iwasaki?” Iwaizumi was the first to break the silence. His voice was strained as if he was fighting to contain his emotions.

“He was waiting for me outside when I went to find Oikawa.”

“Thanks Shittykawa, if you hadn’t-” Makki stopped as you jolted upright, slamming the palms of your hands onto the coffee table beside you. Four pairs of eyes widened as they fell to your teary eyes and shaking hands.

“Finish that sentence and you can leave,” your voice was unsteady and laced with the anger you felt bubbling up within you. “What do you think would have happened if Oikawa had gone into the locker room with you guys? If I had been in the hallway- alone? I froze when I saw him standing behind me. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. I barely felt like I was breathing.” You paused, shuttering as you closed your eyes. “If Daichi hadn’t seen what was happening and pulled me away I don’t even know what would have happened. So don’t blame him for that asshole’s actions.”

“YN,” Iwaizumi’s voice was soft as he sat forwards, leaning on his knees to be closer to you.

“I know you’re all trying your hardest to support me, and I love you more for it. But you don’t understand what it’s like. I can’t even walk half a block to the convenience store without calling to have someone go with me. It’s like every time I finally get comfortable he comes crashing back in and reminds me that he’s always watching me.” Your words stuttered to sobs towards the end, your head collapsing to the table as your body shook. You felt two strong arms wrap around your waist as Iwaizumi pulled you onto his lap. Your sobs drowned out the shuffling of the other three as they made their way over to you, the warmth of them leaning against you pulling harsher cries from your lips.

When your cries had subsided to sniffles you felt fingers pull your face from Iwaizumi’s chest, calloused palms pressed to your cheeks as thumbs wiped the remaining tears from your face. “You’re right bunny, “ Matsukawa whispered, his breath warm against your forehead, “we don’t understand what you’re going through.”

“That doesn’t mean that we aren’t scared too. We can’t be with you twenty four seven.” Makki added, his hands rubbing soft circles on your thighs.

“We are all constantly thinking about those what-ifs, princess. We are always worrying about you.” Oikawa leans his head on your shoulder, his hands rubbing your back roughly.

“Let’s call that detective and tell him what happened. I’m sure Daichi and whoever else from Karasuno saw him there with you will corroborate your story. Maybe he will actually see some jail time.” Iwaizumi reached for your phone, unlocking the screen and dialing the officer’s number. They sat with you as you recounted the events of the day to Detective Aomine, giving him Daichi’s contact number. The call ended with a promise from the officer to follow up with you the next day. You ended the call, quickly sending a message to Daichi letting him know to expect a call from the Detective and thanking him for helping you today.

You had Iwaizumi sit your phone back on the table, You sigh as you shuffle across to sit with your back against Mattsun’s chest. Your reach up to ruffle Oikawa’s soft brown hair. “Your turn.” The setter’s face paled as all eyes were directed to him. “YN-chan, I don’t-” His chocolate eyes glare at you as he stumbles over his words.

“You know kissing someone and running away is a pretty shitty thing to do” Matsukawa says, his tone amused as he watched the setter’s face turn bright red. 

“I-I-”

“If you think it makes us uncomfortable, I’ll let you in on a secret,” Makki drops his voice to a whisper as he leans towards Oikawa. “Mattsun and I have fucked on multiple occasions.” Makki’s blunt confession has you doubled over in laughter.

“Sorry but that isn’t exactly your most well kept secret. Everyone already knows that.” Makki scowls at you, feigning mock shock as you continue to laugh at him.

“Here, if you will make you feel better,” Mattsun leaned over planting a quick kiss on Iwaizumi’s lips. The ace frowned as his friend pulled back, a grin spread across his face. You are laughing so hard tears are streaming down your face, the shocked look on Oikawa’s face only intensifying the reaction. Soon everyone is laughing, any remaining tension leaving the room.

“Oi, Trashykawa,” Iwaizumi mutters after he calmed down. Oikawa turns to his friend, small giggles still escaping him. Iwaizumi’s hand wraps around his neck pulling him into a rough kiss. The setter’s eyes go wide for a few seconds before he melts into the contact. You can’t help the large smile spreading across your face. As nice as it is to be loved by all of them, it’s even better to get to see them love each other.

Iwaizumi breaks the kiss, sitting back with his usual disgruntled look on his face. His green eyes are brighter than usual, and his cheeks hold just a slight hint of a pink flush. “I told you” you say nudging Oikawa with your foot. “Mhmmmm, I guess you did YN-chan.”

The sound of your phone vibrating several times draws your attention from the group as Matsukawa hands it to you. Swiping the screen open you see a reply from Daichi. He and his team would be more than willing to speak with the detective’s about what happened outside of the stadium. You thank him again before closing the messenger app on your phone, noticing how late it was getting. The boys would have to head home soon, something you weren’t prepared for. After the rare encounters with the man behind your traumatizing past you were plagued with nightmares for weeks. You couldn’t counter the number of sleepless nights spent tossing and turning alone in your bed. You wanted them to stay, you wished you could ask them to, but you knew how important tomorrow was to them. You knew they didn’t need to be woken up in the middle of the night by you jerking awake beside them. You tense your jaw for a second, clearing away those thoughts and focusing on their needs.

“It’s getting late, and we have a big day tomorrow. You guys need to get home so that you can get some sleep. I know you’re all exhausted.” Your eyes were still trained downwards to where Makki’s hand now rested on your thigh. You missed the shared look between the four.

“They’ll go, I’m staying. Not gonna leave you to sleep alone after running into that piece of shit.” Makki pulled you to your feet with him, his arm sneaking around your waist. Mattsun, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi all pressed soft kisses to your face before they headed home.

Makki helped you brush your teeth and take care of your skin before the two of you slipped beneath the covers on your bed. Your head resting against his chest, the soft beating of his heart lulling you to sleep.

You didn’t realize you were lashing out in your sleep until the loud call of your name startled you awake. Your cheeks were wet with tears, your wrists locked together in Makki’s grasp as he leaned over you. His eyes were panicked, softening as you blinked up at him. “There she is” he whispered, letting your wrists fall to your sides. His fingers brushed away the stray tears on your cheeks. “Wanna tell me about it?” He settled back onto the bed beside you, pulling you flush against him. You shook your head, burying your face in his neck to breathe him in.

“Sorry,” you whisper, feeling guilty for waking him in the early hours. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, fingers rubbing the arm that was stretched across his chest. “You have nothing to apologize for babe. That’s why I’m here. Good dreams or bad, I’ve got your back.”

“Thank Makki.”

“Takahiro. I think we can safely use each other's first names babe.”

You hummed thoughtfully for a few seconds. “I love you ‘Hiro.” Leaning up you saw the pink blush dusting the strawberry blonde’s cheeks. Giggling you pressed a quick kiss to his lips before settling down against him.

“I love you too, Y/N/N.”


	16. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross posted to tumblr.  
> Warnings: Lashing out/degrading words, Violence, Assault, Fighting, Mentions of blood/bleeding, swearing, depictions of PTSD flashbacks/panic, mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts

Losing to Shiratorizawa in the finals was disheartening for the entire team. You had been by their sides as each and every one of them poured their all into improving. They had worked so hard to get here, and all of the effort they put in hadn’t done a single thing for them. Despite the rough game they all had opted to stay after for additional practice. “We still have one more chance,” they all agreed. You would be there by their side, helping them in any way you could. You wanted nothing more than to see their dream of reaching Nationals brought to life.

The team had slowly headed home as the day progressed. You had agreed to stay behind, knowing that Oikawa wouldn’t want to leave yet. You had settled into a corner, homework splayed across the floor. Time flew by as you studied. You hadn’t even realized how late it actually was until a stretch of your limbs had brought your gaze to the windows outside. You sighed, gathering up your things before standing and approaching Oikawa. You watched as he completed his serve, your stomach lurching when he landed from the jump and his knee buckled beneath him. You rushed forwards, ready to help him, only to be brushed off. “Don’t YN. I’m fine.”

  
“Funny since you don’t look fine. Fine normally isn’t your knee buckling from you overworking it. Call it a night Tooru. Let’s go home and rest.” Walking away you froze mid-bend, a volleyball in your hand.

“Why do you even care?” The sense of dread in your stomach was growing steadily. You had seen his moods before, although he had never directed them towards you. He was angry with himself for losing the match, and he was lashing out at whoever pushed him first. That just happened to be you.

“You know I care about you Tooru. I always have. I’m not telling you to give up, I’m just asking you to take a break and be smart about listening to your body’s limits.” You kept your voice steady, forcing your limbs to continue cleaning up the scattered balls despite the unease that was threatening to crush you.

“You think because I fucked you once that you really have a say in how I spend my time?” There it was. The knife that plunged deep within your heart as he tried to drive you away. His insecurities and feelings of inadequacy pushing the harsh words from his mouth. Taking a deep breath you turned towards him. With everything you had experienced over the last year, you could handle a few harsh lies.

“You know I-”

“Or did you think that any of us would actually stay with you after we got to fuck you?” Your jaw clenched, hands balling into fists. ‘He doesn’t mean it. He doesn’t mean it. He doesn’t mean it.’ You repeated the phrase over and over, trying to keep your cool and not let him succeed in pushing you away when he needed you to support him. “You’re broken goods, why would we want to stay?”

“Tooru,” your voice was shaky as you breathed out his name. Your vision blurred as you struggled to keep yourself composed.

“Just go home, YN.” His tone held a finality that broke you. Gathering your things you stormed out of the gym, slamming the door behind you. As your eyes took in the dark setting around you that skin crawling, shallow breath inducing feeling started to bubble up from within you. Pulling your phone from your pocket you dialed the only number you could handle right now. “What do you want YN?” Kentarou’s gruff voice grounded you for the moment.

“Can you pick me up from the school and take me to my apartment?”

“Are you there alone?” You could tell from the shuffling in the background that he was heading your way regardless of your answer.

“No. But I need you here instead. Please.”

He grunted in response, ending the call. You sat on the step, back leaning against the door. You buried your head in your hands, focusing on the sound of the volleyballs hitting the floor within the gym behind you. Anything to distract you from the memories that were trying to claw their way to the front of your mind again.

“Let’s go dumbass.” You jumped at the sudden words, relaxing when your (e/c) eyes met your brother’s honeyed ones. You walked in silence to your apartment. You had always admired his ability to read you. He always knew when to ask questions and when to let you deal with things on your own. You weren’t ready to try to dive into a conversation about your relationship with his upperclassmen.

A large hand covered your mouth from behind you, an arm looping around your waist to pull you back into the dark shadows of an alley you had passed. “Gotcha.” Your eyes widened at the chilling sound of that all too familiar voice in your ear. You weren’t as stunned this time, biting down on his fingers and loosening his grip enough for you to get our brothers attention. The next few moments were a blur. Kentarou had leapt into action, his fist quickly connecting with Iwasaki’s face as he pulled you from his grasp. You felt pressure against your lower back as you stumbled forwards, barely catching yourself before you fell. A shout erupted as the two officers who had been waiting outside of your apartment noticed the situation. One of them grabbed your brother roughly, keeping him away from Iwasaki. The other quickly subdued your assailant, handcuffs clicking shut.

Your back felt warm and wet, a sudden sharp pain tearing at you and knocking the breath out of you. Your stomach churned rapidly as you fell to your knees. You couldn’t breathe, feeling the immense pressure of hands wrapped around your throat. Terror flooded our system, mingled with disgust. You felt a finger run along your inner thigh, the smell of alcohol and cheap cologne overloading your senses. You could hear the muffled sounds of Kentarou calling your name, but he sounded so distant. Nothing made sense. Your panic only increased as you couldn’t pinpoint where you were.

“Breathe YN,” the soft voice leaked through the chaos of your panic. You took a shuttered breath, focusing on the deep inhale and the long exhale. The fear started to dissipate, your senses slowly returning to the present. You managed to look up, vision focusing on the deep blue eyes of the Detective squatting before you. “Good. You’re doing good.” The feeling of your shirt being pushed up your back startled you. “YN.” The Detective’s tone was sharp as he directed your attention back to him. “You. Are. Safe.” You swallowed thickly, peeking over your shoulder to see the EMT who was tending to the area emanating the sharp pains through your side.

A few stitches, a new prescription for sleeping pills, and a promise to have Iwasaki behind bars later you were lying beneath the heavy comforter of your bed. Kentarou was in the living room, talking quietly on the phone, probably talking with your dad about what had happened tonight.

You felt so physically exhausted, but your mind wouldn’t shut down. You sat up carefully, making sure you didn’t twist weirdly and risk opening your stitched wound. Reaching to your bedside you grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills popping the lid off and pouring one into your hand. You hesitated as you moved to replace the cap. The fleeting thought of just taking all of them crossing your mind. It wasn’t the first time your mind had wandered down that dark path, wondering if you weren’t just better off permanently escaping the hell you had found yourself in. “You’re broken goods, why would we want to stay?” Oikawa’s words echoed in your mind, pushing you deeper into that darkness. You could feel it eating away at you, the balance your ‘boyfriends’ brought disappearing beneath the harsh what ifs that had started clawing their way to the surface.

Your phone vibrated harshly on the bedside table, startling you from your thoughts. You replaced the cap to the sleeping pills, pushing them into the back of the drawer and keeping them out of your sight. Taking the single pill you had kept out you settled onto your pillows, swiping open your phone to check your messages.

12:32 a.m.

Iwaizumi: I just saw Oikawa sneaking into his house. Did you get home okay YN? If he kept you at the school this late I’ll kick his ass.

You stared at the message, unable to try to sort through the feelings swimming beneath the surface of your increasingly cloudy mind. Sleep overtook you before you could respond to the message.

⋅∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅

Your phone was ringing when Kentarou walked back into the room. He frowned as he plucked the device from your hand, surprised the noise hadn’t woken you. His finger went to slide to ignore the call until he noticed Iwaizumi’s name on the caller ID.

“Iwaizumi.”

“Kentarou, where’s YN?” Iwaizumi’s voice was stiff.

“Asleep. Had a long night.”

Iwaizumi groaned on the other end of the line. “Did Oikawa just drop her off?”

Kentarou stared at you for a minute, contemplating how to answer his senpai’s question. He knew that you would want him to keep the events of this evening to himself, to let you tell them what had happened yourself. He just couldn’t shake the image of you sitting outside of the gym doors with your head buried against yourself, trembling. He had heard the sounds of the balls hitting the floor in the room behind you, and based on Iwaizumi’s question he had a pretty good idea who had been practicing inside. His blood began to boil at the thought, the decision becoming clear to him. Even if you were mad at him, he had to be honest with the Ace. You deserved better than all of this.

“No. I picked her up from the school at almost 9. I don’t know what happened, but he will be lucky if I don’t kick his ass the next time I see him.”

“Explain.” Iwaizumi’s reply was instant, his voice laced with a hint of concern.

“When I got there she was sitting outside of the gym, cowering into herself. She was scared. And heartbroken. I haven’t seen her eyes look that dead since her mom died.”

“Fucking bastard. I’ll deal with Shittykawa. Is YN okay?”

“No she surely fucking is not.” This time Kentarou didn’t hesitate to answer the question. “That bastard Iwasaki grabbed her when we were almost to her apartment. He sliced her fucking back open. She got stitched up. Worst part was what that Detective called a flashback. Side effect of something he called PTSD. She was real fucking unresponsive for a bit. She’s not okay at all.”

“I’m going to kill that bastard if I ever see him. Fuck.” Kentarou heard a loud bang, recognizing that the other man had punched something. “Okay. I’ll be there first thing in the morning. And like I said, I’ll deal with Shittykawa.”

  
  


⋅∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅

Iwaizumi ended the call with Kyotani, feeling his blood boil as he turned over everything he had learned through the call. He opened his contacts dialing Oikawa’s number as he slipped his jacket on and snuck out of his house.

“Iwa-chan~” Oikawa answered sleepily.

“Get the fuck outside now.”

He heard Oikawa yelp in response to his tone, ignoring his questions as he ended the call. He waited in the street between their houses, hands shoved into his pockets. He heard the annoyed huffs of his best friend as he approached him. “Iwa-chan, what-”

“Shut the fuck up Shittykawa. What the fuck did you do to YN?” Oikawa visibly flinched beneath his glare, his chocolate eyes swimming with guilt as he looked away. He kicked his feet against the sidewalk. “I saw that Mad Dog-chan picked her up. I was just too upset to deal with her tonight Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi grabbed him by the collar, forcing his friends' gaze back onto him. “You couldn’t deal with her tonight? Kyotani said she looked more heartbroken than he had ever seen her jackass. And to make it all worse Iwasaki cornered her near her apartment. Do you want to lose her? To watch her spiral into depression? She’s been through enough without you adding to that pain.”

He dropped his hand, sighing as he watched the tears well in Oikawa’s eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what you said to her, and I don’t want to know either. But you need to fix this. She deserves better than this.”

“I know she does, Iwa-chan, I just-” a sob wracked through the setter, tears streaming down his face as the reality of his actions sank in. Iwaizumi pulled him against him, letting his friend cling to him and cry. “Is she okay?” Oikawa sniffled, pulling away.

“She had to have stitches, and she had a really bad episode. She’s stronger than any of us, she’ll survive. But she’s going to need us there to support her. So pull your head out of your ass already.”

Oikawa shuttered, nodding slowly.

“Now go get some sleep. I’m waking your ass up early to go to YN’s.”

  
  



	17. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr

Kyotani woke to the muffled sounds of movement in your apartment. He let out a deep groan as his eyes blinked open, noting your side of the bed was neatly made. The alarm clock on your night stand read 7 a.m. earning grumbled curses about you waking him so early on a Saturday. He swung his legs out of the bed, a tinge of worry scratching at his stomach. Last night was rough, and he really wasn’t sure you were as okay as you had claimed to be. He didn’t want to push you too far and risk you shutting him out completely, but you needed help even if you were unwilling to ask for it. **  
**

He stood, heading out to see what you were doing that was causing so much noise this early in the morning. The bedroom door swung open before he could reach it, Matsukawa’s smiling face appearing in the crack. Kyotani frowned, watching as his upperclassmen’s face contorted in confusion. “Where’s YN?” he growled. Matsukawa shrugged stiffly, pulling himself back into the hallway to shout to the rest of his friends in the kitchen. “She’s not here guys.”

Kyotani huffed past his upperclassmen, searching the small apartment to make sure you weren’t hidden somewhere. When his search left him empty handed, he pulled his phone out and dialed your number. All of their eyes snapped to the table beside your couch when they heard the familiar ring of your phone. He grabbed your phone, swiping it open and searching to see where you had disappeared to. His stomach sank as he found no new calls or messages since he had spoken with Iwaizumi using the device late the previous night. He bit his tongue, forcefully suppressing the urge to snap at the four boys standing in your kitchen, Oikawa especially. Grabbing his jacket, he was sliding into his shoes when the sound of keys jingling at the door froze him in his spot.

You had woken in a cold sweat, eyes finding the clock and groaning when you realized it was only 5 o’clock in the morning. The painkillers the EMT’s had given you were wearing off, the throbbing pain in your lower back making you shift uncomfortably. Running your fingers across the back of your shirt, feeling the stitches beneath the soft material, you shudder as the memory of Iwasaki’s hand clasping over your mouth flashes through your mind. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep now.

You padded to the kitchen to brew yourself a cup of coffee. You sat your phone on the counter, fingers hovering over the logo for your group chat with your four boyfriends. A sharp throb in your lower back had your hands gripping the counter edge roughly. _‘Tooru’s right,’_ you thought as you doctored your mug of coffee to your liking. ‘ _Did I really expect them to want to stay with me? It has to be exhausting to constantly make time to escort me everywhere. Always worrying about something else happening. Why would anyone want to try to fix these pieces that are broken beyond repair?’_

You winced slightly as the searing heat from your coffee burned your tongue. Your eyes roamed the apartment as you blew on the liquid to cool it. Fragments of your memories here flashed through your mind, quickly being brushed away as your chest grew tighter. Your gaze finally fell on the old pair of running shoes that sat unused by your doorway, the sudden need to utilize them filling them. You finished your cup of coffee before quickly changing into something more suited for running. The clock on your microwave read 6:20 a.m. giving you plenty of time to go out and be back before your brother would wake up.

The first block you ran wasn’t bad, but the further you pushed yourself the sharper the pain in your back became. It was almost unbearable as you made your way back to the apartment, your jaw clenched as you fought against the pain. Unlocking your door you stepped inside, a frown tugging at your lips. Kentarou was wide eyed and angry before you, halfway through the process of stepping into his shoes. You felt the familiar pierce of four sets of eyes as they turned towards you from your kitchen.

_‘Did you think that any of us would stay?’_

_‘Broken goods.’_

_‘We just wanted to fuck you.’_

_‘Not good enough.’_

_‘Worthless.’_

_‘Go away YN.’_

The swell of those dark thoughts clawed at your mind, threatening to consume you. So you did the only thing you could- you shut down. The all too familiar wave of numbness swept over you, diminishing all of the thoughts and locking all of your emotions deep within you. Kicking off your shoes, you ignored all of the bodies around you, moving around them to grab a bottle of water from your fridge.

“Where the fuck were you YN?” Kentarou snaps, following you into the kitchen.

“Out,” you deadpanned as you brought the water bottle to your lips.

“After everything that happened last night, you just got up and went out alone? Without even bothering to let anyone know where you were going?”

“Obviously,” you snapped. Tossing your now empty water bottle in the trash you spun on your heel, headed towards your bedroom to change. A strong hand gripped your shoulder holding you in place. Tilting your head to the side you met very concerned honeyed eyes. Kyotani’s face contorted into something unreadable as his hand lifted the bottom part of your jacket, lifting the material to reveal the wound you had attained the previous night. “You need to change the bandage.”

“I’ll take care of it” you mumbled, shaking his hand off your shoulder as you stepped forwards again.

“YN,” Kyotani growled.

“I can’t expect to have you there to support me all the time, ‘Tarou.” You don’t look back as you reply, your voice just above a whisper.

“You’ve got them too.”

You scowled at his words, a lingering throb of insecurity slipping through your carefully constructed walls. “But for how long?” Your quiet words shook in the silence of the apartment. Four hearts breaking as they watched you wrap your arms around yourself before shuffling into your bedroom.

The next few minutes passed in a blur of movement. You heard the water of your shower turn on as you grabbed clean clothes from your closet, opting to don something of your own for once. Matsukawa’s warm arms wrapped around your shoulders and behind your knees as he swooped you into his arms. “Put me down Mattsun” you demanded, only to have your request ignored. He carried you into the bathroom, sitting you down onto a stool. “Let us take care of you bunny,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as he slipped your jacket off. “I don’t need you to take care of me, I can do it myself.”

“We know you can. You’re stronger than any of us. Always have been. Let us feel useful, Y/N/N. We want to help.” Makki avoids your eyes as he digs out the first aid kit you kept fully stocked for them. He didn’t look at you until he held new gauze and tape tightly in his grip.

Makki had always been the easiest for you to read. His eyes easily betray his feelings if you look close enough. As he stared up at you from where he was crouched on your bathroom floor, you could easily see the storm raging within them. The anger, the worry, the heartbreak. He handed Mattsun the medical supplies, setting his hands gently on your knees. “Please just talk to me,” he pleaded. You winced as Mattsun removed the original medical tape from your skin, the area around your wound still feeling tender. Makki squeezed your knee lightly.

“We all wish we would have walked you home last night. Maybe if we had-”

“No, no that’s not-” Your words were cut off as you grimaced beneath the pressure of Mattsun applying the new gauze. Soft apologies fell from his lips as he attached the tape. “I went for a run because I know Iwasaki is in jail. I felt safe enough to go out on my own for the first time in months. It was liberating.” You spoke softly, eyes glued to the ceiling. You were playing with your hands nervously as you talked, the movements stilled when Makki pulled them to your knees to lace them with his. “When I stopped, it was so quiet and I was alone and I-” you felt tears welling in your eyes as the hastily built walls you had put up began to crumble beneath the weight of Makki’s stare and Mattsun’s warmth.

“Is what our resident drama queen told you at the gym last night?” Matsukawa asked as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to lean against him. You tensed at his question, insecurity bubbling to the surface. “You know he likes to lash out and say things he doesn’t mean when he’s upset, bunny. Don’t let what he said last night stick with you.”

“But it’s true,” you blurted out.

A sorrowful choke drew your attention to the bathroom door. Oikawa’s head peeked into the crack where he had opened it, his tear filled eyes swimming with grief. He immediately averted his gaze, staring at the floor. “Iwa-chan made breakfast whenever you are finished,” he stuttered before retreating back to the kitchen. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat. Then we can all sit down and talk.” Makki stood from his crouched position, pulling you to your feet and releasing one of your hands. He kept your other hand tightly intertwined with his as he led you to the kitchen.

Breakfast was eaten in an awkward silence. Neither you nor Oikawa were able to finish your food, anxiety building too much acid to stomach much. With a sigh, you collected the boys’ dishes heading to the sink. Matsukawa quickly intercepted you, taking the bowls from your hands and depositing them to the counter. He turned you away from the sink, ignoring your protests about wanting to help clean after they had cooked. “Don’t make me tie you to the chair, YN,” Iwaizumi grumbled. “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t enjoy that,” you teased, sticking your tongue out in his direction. The group paused, staring at you with wide eyes before they all fell into laughter. “Hush it, brat. Go relax. We’ve got this.” Iwaizumi ruffled your hair before he made his way back into the kitchen.

You sat on the edge of the couch, curled against a pillow as you flipped on your tv. You had just turned on one of the many science fiction shows you binge watched during your free time when Oikawa stumbled into the room. He sank onto the opposite end of the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest and placing his chin between them. You could see that he felt guilty and upset with himself for lashing out at you, but you weren’t going to approach him first. The lingering thought that the connection between you and the four boys was meager and on the verge of disappearing threatening to break you again.

“YN-chan,” Oikawa whispered timidly, pulling you away from your own thoughts. You muted the show, turning towards him to let him know that he had your full attention. “I’m a real asshole aren’t I?” He chuckled dryly, leaning his head back and running his fingers through his hair. “You’ve done nothing but take care of and support me; and I said the most destructive things I could to hurt you in a feeble attempt to lessen my own disappointment. You should never have been treated that way.” He paused, dropping his head into his palms. “I don’t deserve your friendship let alone to be your boyfriend.” His words were muffled by his hands, but you could still make out the strain of his voice beneath the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

“You’re right,” you said softly, “I didn’t deserve to be treated that way.” Scooting closer you peeled his hands away from his face gently, stooping to look up at him. “But, you were also right. I am broken.” Oikawa’s shoulders shook as he sobbed at your admission, shaking his head as he tried to refute what you had said. “No-” he choked out, his hands gripping your cheeks lightly.

“She’s right Trashykawa. She is broken. How could she not be after everything that has happened to her over the past year?” Iwaizumi stated as he moved to sit down beside you. Oikawa stared wide-eyed at his best friend for a moment before he glanced across to see Makki and Mattsun nod in agreement. Iwaizumi turned to you, his face serious. “We were talking, and with all of the recent ups and downs,” “And your ptsd breakdown last night,” Mattsun interjected. “Right. We think that you should consider going into therapy. It might be good for you to seek out professional help learning to stand on your own again.”

You nod slowly, trying to focus on the thought of seeing a therapist more than the thought of standing alone. Oikawa notices the slight fall of your shoulders, moving his hands down to hold yours. “We will still be here to support you too, YN. I know I said-” he paused, swallowing thickly to rein in the tears threatening to spill from his eyes again. “I didn’t mean what I said last night. There’s nowhere we would rather be than by your side.”

“Exactly, Y/N/N. We just think that a therapist would be able to help you a lot more than we can. We’re a real shit show of a fivesome after all.” Makki chuckled, his head leaning on Matsukawa’s knee as the latter combed his fingers through his strawberry blonde locks. You gave him a soft smile, lightly squeezing Oikawa’s hands. “Okay. I’ll call and set up an appointment Monday morning.”

“Great!” Makki said, clapping his hands together loudly. “Now can we actually turn something good on to watch or are we letting our brains rot with this nonsense all day?” You laughed as he dodged the pillow Iwaizumi threw at him, settling back against the Ace’s chest and humming contentedly when Oikawa sprawled out on top of you.

Maybe therapy could help you figure out how to piece yourself back together for them.


	18. Fresh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr  
> TW: Dissociation,

“Hello Kyotani-san, my name is Takahashi Himari, you may call me Himari.” The older woman sat in a comfortable chair across from the couch you had seated yourself on. She was holding what you assumed were the papers you had filled out in the lobby a short while ago. She glanced down at them briefly before setting them aside, directing her attention fully to you.

“You can call me YN,” you replied as you played with your hands nervously. Your mind conjured the image of Makki’s warm hands covering yours when you had done the same sitting in your bathroom a few days ago, allowing you to still your hands and focus on what you were being asked.

“Okay, YN, why did you decide to come to therapy?”

You chewed at your lip for a moment as you figured out what you were going to say. “I’m broken.” Himari cocked an eyebrow at your words but waited for you to finish speaking. “I have experienced a lot of consecutive trauma, and I never made the decision to seek out help. I haven’t done anything to deal with the things that have happened to me. I just forced it aside and tried to move on. Unsuccessfully.”

Himari nodded. “Okay. Well, for starters it’s good that you are self-aware. Recognizing your issues makes the process of facing them an easier path to get on.” She paused for a second before continuing. “What is your goal in these therapy sessions?”

You hummed as you thought about the question. “I want to learn to face things head-on and to cope better with the things that have happened in my life. I don’t want to experience the same things over and over each time something goes wrong in the future.”

“Okay, YN. We will work towards that goal together, okay?”

* * *

“I’m sorry, what?” Mattsun heard Makki sigh quietly beside him, repeating his question. They had just arrived back in town from your first appointment with her therapist. You had been acting off since they had left, almost as if you were trapped in your thoughts and couldn’t actually hear them. He wouldn’t have been concerned if you hadn’t been zoned out for the duration of the entire twenty-minute ride back to the station near your apartment. He heard you mumble out an agreement to Makki’s question, the strawberry blonde meeting his glance over the top of your head.

_ Ring, ring.  _ Mattsun pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, swiping to accept the call when he noticed Iwaizumi’s face on the screen. “Yoohoo, Iwa-chan,” he squealed, pitching his voice higher as he mocked their Captain. You giggled beside him, the first normal action you had exhibited. He felt his lips tug into a small smile. Makki looped his arm with yours as he pulled you into a small grocery store. Mattsun waited outside, knowing that Iwaizumi would want to ask about the appointment. He didn’t think that you overheard him talking about it with your other boyfriend would be beneficial right now.

“How is she?” Iwaizumi’s gruff voice rang through the line, shuffling on the line indicated that Oikawa was also listening in to the call. “Well, I really don’t know. She’s been really spaced out since she left the therapist’s office. So she hasn’t really responded to any questions or even talked as much.” Iwaizumi huffed on the other end. Mattsun could imagine the Ace running his hand through his hair as he began to pace outside of the gym doors. “I knew I should have gone with her.”

Iwaizumi sighed, the sounds of his pacing stopped. “She’s probably dissociating as a response to whatever they discussed in therapy. You need to help ground her. I don’t think she has any grounding techniques set up, so this might be a good time to try a few out. Just be careful you don’t push too hard. Watch her reactions closely. Call me if you need us.”

Matsukawa ended the call, clicking open the link Oikawa had sent him to some grounding techniques. He felt out of his depth, not knowing what would work and being nervous about accidentally triggering you into something worse. Taking a deep breath in, he headed into the small shop to join you and Makki. It was no surprise that he found you both lingering in the candy isle. Makki was showing you various candies, trying to get you to pick between them. “She needs real food Hiro. I’d rather not deal with an angry Iwa when he finds out that we fed her junk food.” Makki pouted a little, but shrugged, tossing the candy back onto the shelf. Matsukawa took your hand, gently pulling you with him to the other side of the store. He stopped, reaching out to start grabbing some of the ingredients he remembered going into curry.

* * *

Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro had no clue what they were doing.

The only success they appeared to have had in their attempt to cook dinner for you, their adoring girlfriend, was to manage to ground you enough for you to pull yourself out of the dissociative state you were in. The last hour was a blur in your mind. You faintly remembered leaving the therapist’s office, and hearing Mattsun mimic Oikawa’s usual greeting for Iwaizumi, but otherwise, you couldn’t pinpoint anything that had happened. Your eyes were wide as you slid from the chair they had positioned in the entrance to the kitchen.

A chunk of very mushy… something flew across the room and landed in your hair. Two pairs of eyes fell onto your figure. “Ah, sorry about that bunny-” Matsukawa says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Hanamaki stepped towards you, his arm outstretched to pull the mush from your hair. They both froze when you pulled the food from your hair, flicking your fingers towards Makki and splattering the substance all over his face. Makki’s jaw dropped, his hand retracting to his face. “Oh, you asked for it Y/N/N,” he growled as he wiped his face.

The next few minutes were a blur of thrown food, roaring laughter, and messy, stolen kisses. As you leaned against the counter, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, you let your eyes roam over the disaster that was now your kitchen. “So, uhm, can one of you please explain what exactly led to the destruction of my kitchen?” “Well, you see-” Makki started to explain, shuffling the pan that was behind his back in an attempt to hide it further. They noticed your eyes narrowing at the movement. “Now bunny, before you say anything-” Mattsun raises his hands as he takes a step towards you. You sigh, rubbing your temples slightly. “I appreciate you guys trying to do this for me.” You pushed away from the counter, pulling out rags and cleaning products to pass to the two food covered boys behind you. “Let’s clean this mess up.”

Makki and Mattsun got straight to work in cleaning up the mess they had helped you create. You stepped out of the kitchen long enough to call and order take out before joining them. From what you could tell they had been attempting to make a basic curry but had someone managed to fail miserably. Looking into the pan that Makki had been trying to hide you couldn’t suppress the fit of giggles that overwhelmed you. “Remind me- to give you guys- some basic cooking lessons later,” you managed between your giggles.

The feeling of the hot water on your hands as you washed the destroyed dishes lulled your mind further, allowing you to relax between the warmth of the two bodies beside you. You knew that all three of you would need to get cleaned up before stepping foot into your living room. The hot water would also help to ease the stress of the day away. You were working on removing the layer of very burned curry from the bottom of your favorite pan when the front desk called to inform you that your food had arrived. You sent Mattsun to grab it from downstairs while you and Makki finished cleaning the last of the kitchen.

“Okay,” you finally said as you put away the last clean pan. “Let’s grab a quick shower, and change into more comfortable clothes, then we can eat.”

“Oh, the new episode of (anime you like) should be up,” Makki adds as he heads into the bathroom to start the water. A frown forms on your face. The show had been on hiatus, and you hadn’t heard anything about the hiatus ending. “Wait, when did the hiatus end?” Mattsun freezes as he pulls you through the bathroom door, immediately averting his gaze from yours. Your frown deepens as you turn to Makki, only to find him looking away from you. Sauntering over you slip your hands beneath his shirt, letting them rest on his abs. “Hiro,” you breathe, fluttering your eyelashes at him with a small pout on your face. He turns to look at you, his eyes revealing the answer they were avoiding giving you. “Unbelievable,” you mutter as you pull away, glaring between the two of them. “You not only watched the show without me, you didn’t even tell me that it had started back up again? And here I thought you loved me.” You accentuated the pout on your lips further, forcing down the giggle that threatened to escape as they glanced between each other.

“Sorry bunny, we won’t watch anymore without you, promise.” Matsukawa finally said, flashing you an apologetic look. “Okay. I guess I can forgive you guys this time,” you faked a sniffle at the end of your sentence, trying to morph your features to show your fake sadness. “Only if you buy me ice cream after school on Monday.” Makki rolled his eyes, peeling his shirt off and throwing it at you. “You spend too much time with Oikawa. You’re starting to mimic his dramatics.” Laughter filled the room as you strip and shower, washing away the grimy layers of dried food residue from the kitchen fiasco.

* * *

You were wedged in between Makki and Mattsun on your bed, the warmth of their bodies easing the ache of your muscles from the stress of your day. Your eyes fluttered sleepily as you watched the random movie they had decided on. Sleep was on the horizon when you felt Mattsun shift behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder. “I know you’re going to fall asleep soon, babe, but I think we should talk first.” You hummed in response, turning to lay on your stomach and pushing up onto your elbows to give them both a clear view of your face. “Okay.”

Makki muted the movie before focusing on you. “Tell us about what happened today babe.” You chew at your lip, thinking back to the events of your day. Now that the fog encompassing your mind has lifted everything seems a little clearer. “I don’t know really. The appointment was normal. Mostly just background talk. Like about my family, my relationships, why I was there- that kind of thing. But when I left I just felt drained and weird. Like I heard you guys talking and I saw you standing next to me, but it was like there was a sheet of plexiglass separating us. Everything was muffled and distant, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t focus on what you were saying. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”

Mattsun rubs his palms across the back of your thighs soothingly. “Iwa called is dissociating. You should probably mention it to your therapist, have her help you figure out good ways to ground you. He also sent me a link to an article about grounding methods if you want to read it tomorrow.” You nod, smiling at the curly-haired boy beside you. “We didn’t know how to help you today, Y/N/N, but we’re going to try to learn with you,” Makki adds as he slides closer to you, pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder. “I love you. Both of you.” You glance between them, for a moment before pressing a kiss to each of their lips, hoping that the appreciation and overwhelming love you felt would show in the motion. With a content sigh, you buried your face in Makki’s shirt, feeling Mattsun curl against your back and intertwining his legs with yours. Warm and safe, you quickly slipped into a dreamless sleep.


	19. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posted to tumblr.  
> Tw: mentions of dissociation, anxiety, grief, parental death

Today was going to be a busy day. It was Maiko’s birthday, and your father had planned out a small day out for the whole family, much to your brother’s displeasure. You weren’t exactly excited for the day but you weren’t upset about it either. You were entirely indifferent. And running very late. You stumbled out of bed, slipping from the loose grasp of Oikawa’s arm over your waist. Rummaging through your closet you threw on a pair of shorts and a random top. It had a familiar floral print that didn’t seem to belong to you, but before you could put more thought into the item your phone rang. Your father’s name flashed on the screen letting you know that he was waiting for you downstairs. A quick kiss pressed to your boyfriend's temple and you were heading out the door.

The day seemed to drag on, carrying your mindset with it. Watching Maiko and your brother as they cooed over the animals you were visiting in the zoo sent pangs of jealousy and guilt flooding through your system. You felt yourself disconnecting as you trailed along behind your family, a forced smile on your lips each time they addressed you. You couldn’t remember anything they had said to you by the time the day had reached its peak. Realization struck when Kentarou’s finger flicked harshly against your forehead. You were dissociating again. Taking a deep breath in, you focused on what your therapist had suggested for situations like this.

_ “Grounding yourself can be done in a number of ways. It’s really all about where you are at and how severely you are into the state already. A very common method of grounding is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This one is especially helpful if you are out and about in an unfamiliar area.” _

Five things you can see: The sunlight reflected in Kentarou’s eyes... An elephant shaking its ears... Your brother’s diaper bag swaying on his stroller. An elderly man in a bright pink hat. A young girl holding hands with her sister.

The world started to come back into focus as you forced yourself to pinpoint things around you.

  
Four things you can hear: Maiko cooing to your brother as she pushed him along. Birds chirping as they sat in the trees around you. A baby crying in the distance. A man laughing obnoxiously. Water running in one of the exhibits.

Your breathing eased back into a regular pace, your heartbeat slowing.

Three things you can feel: The sweat on the water bottle being pressed in your hand. The warmth of Kentarou’s fingers when they brush yours. The silk of your floral shirt.

Your shirt. Glancing down you felt the same overwhelming rush of emotions.  _ Oh. _ This was your mother’s shirt. Tearing your gaze from your clothes you watched as Maiko lifted your brother into her arms, talking to him slowly about the animals they were watching. You swallowed thickly around the lump forming in your throat. You missed your mom. Even if it had been years since you had enjoyed an outing like this with her, the thought alone was enough to spark a longing for something you could never enjoy again. Your fingers shook as you pulled your phone from your pocket, quickly typing out a message.

YN: Can I call you when I get home later?

Iwa: Of course angel. Need me to come over?

YN: Maybe. I just need to unload emotionally. If that’s okay.

Iwa: I’ll meet you at the apartment.

After stumbling through the rest of the trip, your emotional distress leaving you exhausted, you finally stepped into the comfort of your apartment. The room was stiflingly quiet, allowing your thoughts to run rampant again. In an attempt to drown out the overwhelming emotions rolling around your mind you jumped into the shower. Letting the hot water wash away the sweat and stress of the day. As you shut the water off and stepped out of the shower you heard the front door clicking shut, Iwaizumi’s familiar voice resonating down the hall as he called out to let you know he had arrived.

The warm smell of fried batter flowed through the air as you exited the bathroom, your stomach rumbling its agreement to this development. Stepping into the living room you watched as Iwaizumi piled pillows and blankets on the floor between the couch and your small table, small take out containers spread across it and waiting. You wordlessly sank into the plush pile beside him, leaning your head on his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, slipping his hand onto your thigh. “Eat and then talk, or talk and then eat?” he asked, his thumb stroking the soft skin of your thigh gently. “Mmmmm, eat and then talk. I don’t know if I’ll want to eat after.” He only nodded, reaching forwards to grab a take out container and handing it to you. You ate in comfortable silence, the sound of your shuffling filling the air. You loved this part of Iwaizumi. He understood your need for silence and space to do your own thing. He never pushed you to talk and wouldn’t try to fill the silence. His presence was waves as they pushed across the sand- soothing.

Setting your empty containers aside, you laid out onto the pile of pillows and blankets, stretching your thighs across Iwaizumi’s lap. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” you asked, throwing an arm across your eyes as you tried to battle against the surge of anxiety that threatened to overwhelm you. You hated talking about your emotions. Always feeling like you were burdening your boyfriends with them. A soft squeeze of your thigh accompanied his words. “I’m here to support you, YN. The good and the bad.”

Swallowing you took a steadying breath. “I dissociated at the zoo today. It was overwhelming. The crowds. The heat. The noise.” He tensed beneath your legs but didn’t interrupt you. “I used the technique my therapist taught me and pulled myself out of it, but then I realized I was wearing one of my mom's shirts. It didn’t push me back into that state, but it was still suffocating. Watching Maiko interact with the baby. Even watching my dad and ‘Tarou bicker at dinner. I felt unbearably alone.” You paused, feeling your lip quiver and sinking your teeth into it in a weak attempt to hide your trembling. Iwaizumi’s hand gripped yours, using it to pull you up to lean against his chest. His strong arms encompassed your frame as you shook. Your words broke as you continued with aggravated breathing. “I miss her so much. And I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault that she’s gone. If I hadn’t interrupted her that morning maybe she wouldn’t have drunk herself into a stupor and things would have gone down differently. If I had just stayed maybe she would still be here.”

Iwaizumi held you as you sobbed, your tears soaking the front of his shirt. His fingers carded through your hair as he waited for you to get it all out of your system. When your sobs turned to sniffles he gripped your chin, pulling your face back to meet his. He leaned his forehead against yours, bringing his hands up to brush away your tears. “It’s okay to miss your mom, angel. She was with you for the entire beginning of your life, and even if your relationship wasn’t always perfect she was still your mom. You’ll miss her for the rest of your life, but that ache you feel will dull. One day you’ll be able to look back on all of the good memories you have with her and feel the joy instead of the pain. But healing takes time. It could take years for you to get to that point, and that’s perfectly fine.”

He paused nuzzling his nose against yours before pulling back to look into your eyes. “Feeling guilty is also normal, and it will also fade. You have to learn to accept things as they are. We can’t change the past no matter how much we may want to, but we can learn from it and keep moving forwards. You feel guilty because of how negatively your last memory with your mother is. So grow from that. You’re already doing so good baby, you’re learning to talk about how you feel instead of bottling it up inside. You’re facing things head on instead of running away when it gets too overwhelming. You’re growing, and your mom would be so proud of you for it. We’re all proud of you for it.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as more tears spilled from your eyes. Your body trembled less as he held you, his warmth anchoring you as you let the weight of the emotions you’d held in for so long escape.

As the last of your tears rolled down your cheeks, you sat back, pressing a chaste kiss to Iwaizumi’s lips. “Thank you,” you breathed. Your limbs felt as if they were weighed down with lead chains as the exhaustion from your day fully seeped in. Sensing your drowsiness Iwaizumi stood, pulling you to your feet and guiding you into your bathroom. He helped you brush your teeth before carrying you to bed. He left the room, shuffling heard in the living room as your heavy eyes fluttered shut. Just before you slipped into a deep sleep you felt the mattress dip and his weight settle behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you against him. “Goodnight angel. I love you.” He whispered the words against your shoulder as he kissed the skin gently, your heart fluttering at the affection that dripped from his voice.

* * *

“So, YN-chan~” Oikawa’s voice filled the hallway as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You raised an eyebrow as you looked over to him. You let him cling to you, reveling in the warm vanilla of his cologne as it engulfed you. “What are you planning for this weekend?”

“Uh, nothing? I think? Why? Did you want to do something?” His arm dropped from your shoulders as his hands made their way to his head and chest. You giggled at his dramatics, reaching over to kiss his cheek. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget. Who could ever forget the birthday of the Great King~.” He scowled at the nickname as you turned away. “Wait! What are the plans! I need to know what to wear!” He caught up to you just outside of the gym, his arm wrapping around your waist as his chin settled onto your shoulder. “If you want me to wear anything that is.” You were spared from scolding him for speaking something so daring so loud by Iwaizumi dragging him off of you and into the locker room.

The rest of your week was spent evading the setter’s relentless questioning. His endless whining was enough to drive you mad, but you loved how tenacious he was. You wouldn’t expect anything less from him.

Saturday finally rolled around, and you felt the excited energy radiating off of Oikawa as their morning practice came to an end. You couldn’t help but giggle as he rushed to the locker room to shower and change. You finished cleaning the gym with the first years, thanking them for their help as your third-year group wandered out of the showers. “So what’s the plan?” Oikawa asked for the millionth time. You only rolled your eyes, taking his hand, and leading him out of the gym. A short train ride later and you had reached your destination, his chocolate eyes gleaming as he pulled you inside. If Oikawa Tooru had one weakness it was Karaoke. Your group was dragged to regular trips to the local karaoke stand to appease the setter. The other third years may not admit it, but they enjoyed these trips too. Watching their friend make a fool of himself while belting out songs from 90’s boy bands and mimicking the dances to them was the greatest form of entertainment. Makki had even gotten a video of Oikawa dancing to ‘I Want It That Way’ by the Backstreet Boys. It had gone viral much to the brunette’s chagrin.

Hours later you stumbled back toward the train station, laughter ringing from your rowdy boys. You hadn’t realized how badly you needed this. The comfort of your four favorite people paired with the relaxing fun of obnoxious singing and general tomfoolery. You beamed as you looked back at them, your (e/c) eyes swimming with adoration. You were so lucky to have them in your life.


	20. Bunny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross Posted to Tumblr  
> TW: penetrative sex, oral (rec. & give), size kink, Daddy Mattsun, Switch Makki, mild praise, mild degradation, choking, tit fucking, spit

After a trip back to your apartment, you collapsed onto your couch on top of Hanamaki and Matsukawa, stretching the sleepiness from your limbs. You looked at Oikawa as he hovered awkwardly by the end of the couch, shuffling from one foot to the next. His chocolate eyes darted back and forth between Iwaizumi and the door. Raising an eyebrow you watched as Iwa made his way to you pressing a soft kiss to your lips before telling you that he was taking Oikawa home. His family had early plans the next morning. A curious rosy hue coated the Ace’s cheeks, suggesting that there was more to their early departure than he was revealing. You didn’t press them though, trusting the duo to tell you when they were ready. You hopped up, wrapping your arms around Oikawa’s waist and kissing him all over, whispering a few final happy birthdays. They left with a wave, leaving you to settle back onto the couch with Makki and Mattsun.

“So what would you like to do this evening gentleman?” you asked playfully as you stretched back out across their laps, your eyes fluttering closed as your back cracked. You missed the glance they exchanged, jolting when you felt Mattsun’s hands trap your thighs and wrists. Your eyes shot open as Makki’s fingers danced along your sides, laughter bubbling out as you squirmed beneath the ticklish touches. “H-hiro,” you squealed. Mattsun’s grip loosened as one of his hands shot out to tickle Makki’s side. You rolled to the floor to escape only to yelp as Makki collapsed on top of you. His thighs straddled your ass as he tickled your sides. All three of you were left breathless, your cheek pressed against the floor when they finally relented. “You know if you wanted to feel me up there are better ways of going about it,” you teased, pressing your foot into Mattsun’s chest.

The atmosphere around you changed immediately, their eyes reflecting the mischievous hunger brewing within them. You pushed to your feet, bolting down the hallway, breathless laughter echoing behind you. You heard the two boys rush to scramble after you, their athleticism allowing them to catch you easily. Mattsun gripped your waist, spinning you around and throwing you over his shoulder to deposit you onto your bed. Makki crawled on beside you, his lips capturing yours in a searing kiss. He nipped at your bottom lip, prompting you to part them. You obliged, pleased moans filling the air as his tongue slipped in to meet with yours. You shifted, lifting your hips as Mattsun pulled your jeans down before climbing up opposite Makki.

Their lips trailed over your jaw and down your neck, their teeth nipping at the sensitive skin and eliciting soft moans from your swollen lips. Makki’s breath was hot against your ear as his tongue darted out to caress the outer shell. “Are you a furnace?” “What?” you chuckled, eyes peeking over at the strawberry blonde as he pulled back to look into your eyes. “Cause I wanna put my meat in you.” The room filled with laughter as Mattsun buried his face in your neck. “You’re such a shithead Taka” he wheezed as he leaned up to pull Makki in for a kiss. You watched as they embraced each other passionately, the vision sending flames of desire to your core. A desperate whine escaped your lips as you watched their tongues tangle, your thighs rubbing together in the search for friction.

They broke apart, turning their attention back to you. “So needy already, bunny?” Mattsun asked a smirk stretched across his face as he let his hands trail down your sides. He gripped the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head. Deep groans rumbled from both of their throats as they scanned your body hungrily, their reaction spurring you to stretch, arching your back off of the bed and giving them a little show. The next few moments were a flurry of flying clothing as they undressed you and each other. You bit your lip, a soft groan escaping as your eyes raked over their muscular figures. You sucked in a sharp breath when your gaze fell to Mattsun’s cock, hard and shiny with precum. It was huge, big enough that you weren’t even sure that you would be able to take it. His big hand gripped the base, slowly pumping himself as few times as he watched you squirm. “Like what you see?” Makki breathed as he crawled onto the bed again. You let out a nervous chuckle as your eyes flickered from Makki’s face to Mattsun’s cock. “Don’t worry bunny,” Mattsun said, his eyes soft as he crawled between your legs, “I’m gonna prep you nice and good to take me.”

Mattsun pressed a kiss to your knee, slowly inching his way up your thigh. He bit into the soft skin, earning a loud moan from your bruised lips. You sucked in a breath as you watched him turn his attention where you wanted it most. His eyes locked with yours as he ran his tongue between your folds, a satisfied hum vibrating against you as he attached his lips to your clit. The bed dipped beside you as Makki moved to hover over you, his cock red as he smeared it across your lips. You opened your mouth expectantly, but he only continued his movements. You felt one of Mattsun’s thick fingers teasing your entrance. “Here’s what’s going to happen, bunny. You’re going to get Taka’s cock nice and wet while I stretch you out for my big cock. Can you be a good girl and do that for us?” You suppressed a chuckle as the wheels turned in your mind. Mattsun’s dominating aura had you squirming beneath him, and Makki’s piercing stare only added fuel to the building fire within you.

“Anything for you daddies,” you cooed, fluttering your lashes as you looked up at Makki. Mattsun’s finger pushed inside of you, a wanton moan falling from your lips at the much needed friction. Makki took advantage of your position and started to slip his length into your mouth. You flicked your tongue around his tip, swirling around it as he pushed further in. You relaxed your jaw, hollowing your cheeks as he reached the back of your throat, broken moans escaping as you gagged around him. Mattsun matched Makki’s pace as he fingered you, quickly adding a second finger and scissoring them to stretch you out. The stretch was a delicious burn, pushing you closer and closer to the edge with each curl of his fingers. At the addition of the third finger, Makki started to twitch within your throat, heavy groans falling from his lips with each thrust into our warm mouth. A muffled whimper escaped your throat as you felt Matsukawa pull his fingers away, the vibration against his cock forcing a shudder from Makki.

The tip of Mattsun’s cock slid against your clit as he settled between your legs. Your eyes were glued to Makki’s face as Mattsun’s large hand wrapped around his throat, pulling him back against his chest. The pressure of Mattsun squeezing his neck and your moans vibrating around his length sending him over the edge with a shuddering grunt.“Such good fucking sluts you are,” Mattsun groaned, his lips trailing against Makki’s shoulder. His thumb trailed across your jaw as he pushed the mixture of drool and cum on your chin between your lips, his teeth sinking into Makki’s skin as you wrapped your lips around the digit. He pulled away with a  _ pop! _ , his eyes dark as he lined himself up with your entrance. Makki leaned onto the mattress beside you, watching as Mattsun split you open.

“Holy fuck,” you whined sharply, your nails digging into his biceps as he leaned down towards you. “Still so fucking tight bunny,” he groaned, peppering sloppy kisses across your chest. Cold fingers danced across your skin as Makki rubbed circles into your hip. Even with the prep, it was a stretch. Pain blurred with pleasure as Makki played with your clit. “Doing so good baby, taking Mattsun’s monster cock,” the praise had you mewling. Glancing down you couldn’t hold back the choked whimper that fell from your tongue- he was only halfway in. “Daddy.” “I know bunny,” Mattsun murmured against the crook of your neck. He didn’t know, though. The shock was evident on his face when your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him into you. “Jesus, YN,” Makki groaned as he felt Mattsun bottom out. You threw your head back in a silent scream as you came undone around him, your body convulsing beneath them.

“Please, please, please.” You weren’t even sure what you were asking for as Matsukawa tentatively rolled his hips against yours. It was too much yet not enough. You wanted- no needed- more. Makki grabbed a pillow from the top of your bed, sliding it beneath your hips as Mattsun lifted them. The new angle allowed him to somehow reach even deeper within you. “Shit,” Makki murmured as he pressed his hand against your stomach. The pressure intensified the feeling of each of Mattsun’s thrusts. A strained sob fell from your lips, your slurred pleas unintelligible. The warmth of Makki’s hardened length as he ground against your hip drew you to him, your lips seeking the familiarity of his chapped ones. He pushed you back down onto the bed, moving to straddle your torso. His thumb hooked into your lip as he pulled away, holding your mouth open.

“Open up,” Mattsun demanded, one hand wrapping around Makki’s throat to pull him backward. You watched as Makki obediently opened his mouth, his tongue perched on his pretty lips. The vulgar sound of Mattsun spitting into Makki’s open mouth had you clenching around him, a wicked smirk stretching across his lips. “You like that bunny? Want a taste?” You nodded, slipping your tongue out beside Makki’s thumb. “Such a dirty fucking slut,” Mattsun growled, the proud shimmer in his eyes fueling the flame building in your stomach. “Give her what she wants, Taka, but don’t let her swallow it. She can keep it on her pretty tongue while you fuck her tits.” Makki leaned forwards, collecting the mixture of their saliva in his mouth before letting it drop onto your waiting tongue. Your eyes rolled back as you felt it hit your tongue.

You kept your tongue out like a good girl as Mattsun fucked your sloppy cunt, the tip of the muscle occasionally meeting Makki’s cock as it slid between your tits. You felt them both twitching, their paces stuttered. Makki pulled away first, pumping his length and painting your tongue and cheeks white. Mattsun let out a guttural groan as Makki shifted off of you, leaning back to capture one of his nipples between his teeth. “Where-” “Inside,” you cut him off. “Want you to fill me with your cum, please daddy.” “F-fuck.” The warmth of his seed spilling within you and a deep grind of his hips against yours sent you over the edge, a strangled scream of their names echoing in the small room.

Your chest heaved as you came down from your highs. Small stolen kisses and gentle touches filling the silence of the moment. “Come on bunny, let’s get you cleaned up,” Mattsun whispered as he gently pulled out of you. Sticky wetness coated your inner thighs, the mixture of his cum and your own slowly leaking down your ass. You attempted to push to a sitting position, only to fall back to the bed. Unrestrained laughter bubbled from within your chest, earning odd looks from the duo as they returned to the room. “I am definitely not walking any time soon,” you supplied. “We broke her, ‘Sei,” Makki said with a shit-eating grin. “Yeah we did,” Mattsun chimed as he scooped you off the bed. “Should buy you a wheelchair for next time.” You smacked his bare chest playfully, nuzzling your nose into his neck. “Thanks, husband,” you whispered against his skin. He only hummed in response, leaning his cheek against the top of your head. “You know we’ve got you, baby,” Makki said sweetly as he helped you stand beneath the warm water of the shower. You could only smile as the soreness and exhaustion of the night's activities seeped into your skin.


End file.
